“Casenave ill!” he exclaimed. “He must have drunk too much.”
At luncheon father announced to us that Casenave was dead.
“I warned him,” he said. “He ought to have given up the bottle long
ago.”
“He chose for himself,” said grandfather.
He chose for himself! That was enough to excuse and justify all
actions, good or bad, and so I understood it. I saw a reply spring to
my father’s lips, but he repressed it, and merely added:
“I have warned Tem Bossette. He will come to the same end, if he does
not take care. It is already pretty late for him.”
“All of them drunkards,” summed up Aunt Deen, who liked to deal in
generalities.
Election Sunday came at last. I knew it by the multicoloured posters
which decorated the fronts of buildings and the greater affluence of
those that I had to wade through on the way to the School Mass. At
the house no one had made the slightest allusion to it. After the
spiritless luncheon grandfather put on his hat and grasped his cane.
“Where are you going?” asked Aunt Deen.
“Into the country.”
“You have voted already?”
“Indeed I have not.”
“It’s a duty.”
“That’s all the same to me.”
“After all, so much the better,” my aunt added; “you would have been
capable of voting for those scoundrels.”
She deemed it useless to designate them more definitely.
He had almost “solicited the suffrages of voters,” to quote from the
posters, and he didn’t even vote. He chose for himself and I could see
no reason to object. Every one had a right to do as he chose and to
change as he fancied,--otherwise what would become of liberty? As he
was going out he suddenly turned to me and proposed that I should go
with him.
“Just let me get my cap,” I cried, starting up, as if I had totally
forgotten the scene in the tower.
Father, who was observing us, checked my enthusiasm by saying:
“Thank you. To-day I will take him for a walk. I am at leisure.”
He very seldom allowed himself leisure. His patients were more and
more absorbing him. His reputation must have extended far and wide,
for he was sent for from great distances; his absences, his journeys
multiplied.
“I am no longer my own master,” he said to mother. “And life is
passing.”
“My dear,” she murmured. “I beg of you don’t overtire yourself so.”
She was always devising ways of caring for him, of finding means for
him to rest. To reassure her he would laugh, drawing himself up to
full height, rounding out his chest. He never needed rest. His robust
shoulders might have borne up the world; and in fact did he not
carry the burden of the house and of our seven futures? By a strange
complication of feeling, though inwardly I was always in a state of
revolt against him, I never ceased to admire him. I could not imagine
him beaten, or complaining. Life was for him one perpetual victory.
I admired him only at a distance. The prospect of this walk with him
appalled me, and I remained on the stairs, waiting for some unknown
event to interpose an obstacle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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