I had recognised my father’s voice, and my parents were talking of
me. But why had they so interchanged their attitudes that I had not
at first recognised them? I had always supposed that they could not
change. Mother was always anxious about nothing at all--when the wind
blew or the thunder growled, even far away, she never failed to light
the blessed candle; or her shadow behind her chamber window told us
that she was watching for the return of the absent ones. She was never
wholly at peace, unless we were all grouped around her, except, indeed,
when praying, for she lived very near to God. It sometimes happened
that father would laugh at her for her endless anxieties. During my
illness, and longer ago, when the house had been put up for sale, it
was he, always he, who kept up her woman’s courage, who assured her
of the future, reminded her of the constant protection of Providence.
I had never imagined them otherwise, and now behold they had changed
parts,--it was mother who was uplifting father in his discouragement.
I should have been disgusted with myself if I had listened at doors.
Urged by self-esteem, mingled with a sense of honour, I should not have
hesitated to enter the room but for the next words, which were uttered
by my father, and which nailed me to the spot, the latch still in my
hand, powerless to go in or to draw back, so greatly was I impressed
and captivated.
“The same thing took place between him and me that long ago took place
between me and my father--the same family tragedy.”
“Oh, Michel, what do you mean?”
“Yes, my father was right when he recalled it the day that I found
Francis in his room, the day when Francis took his part against
me--unhappy child! When I was little, I, too, had felt the influence of
my grandfather. Only it was exercised in the other direction. He had
been president of the Chamber at the Court. Returning home at the age
of retirement, he amused himself with cultivating the garden. It was he
who planted the rose-garden. He taught me the importance, the beauty,
yes, the beauty of the order to which man may subject not only himself,
but nature. Perhaps it is to him that I owe it that I have been able to
direct my life, to dominate it. But my father, who was interested only
in his music and his utopias, used to laugh at us. ‘He will turn that
child into a geometrician,’ he used to say. It is he who has turned my
child into a rebel.”
He added, bitterly, “A father, in his own house, should never yield his
own authority to any one. To withdraw Francis from that influence which
has gained the upper hand of mine, I should not hesitate even to send
him to boarding school. It would only be anticipating by a year or two
the method we adopted for the older children. And in fact our school is
hardly advanced enough for him now.”
“It would be one more expense,” objected mother.
“Money is a small thing compared with education.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account