I was not slow to forget this uncomfortable parting in the enchantment
of my new life in the chalet of the Alpette. For the first time I was
absolute master of my days. Grandfather exercised not the slightest
oversight. He liked to sit for hours together on a bench on the
pleasantest side of the house, warming himself in the sun and smoking
his pipe. He took no walks except in the immediate neighbourhood,
going with difficulty even to the pine woods, for his legs had become
weak and could not carry him far. Once in the woods, he would devote
himself to his favourite pursuit, which had not changed, the hunt after
mushrooms. He especially pursued and not without success the negro head
bolet, which grows well in the shadow of the pines. Jamie and his
inseparable Nicola used to go with him, and stoop for him to retrieve
the game which he pointed out to them. He preferred their childhood to
my youth, and I was not jealous of them. He never tried to establish
with them the intimacy that had formerly existed between him and me. He
shrank from all fatigue, from any conversation which would have led to
discussions, explanations, was contented with trifling facts not open
to debate. For my part, I preferred my solitude.
Whether from sisterly affection or because she had received
instructions to this effect, Louise busied herself with us even to
obsession; she would have cut herself in two to be at the same time
with me and with the two little ones. When she had become convinced
of the peaceful, commonplace character of grandfather’s conversation,
she turned all the more to me, hoping to be my confidant, and to
gain a little influence over me. She was only two years my senior,
and her conduct filled me with wonder, for nothing down in the town
had given any indication that altitude would so totally change her.
Pretty, lively, care-free, I had deemed her rather volatile and even
a bit capricious--and had been not the less pleased with her for
that. At times she would rush at her piano with intense zeal, and
again she would not touch it for weeks. She filled the house with her
laughter, her charming spirits, her quick movements. “She won’t be one
to interfere with me,” I had thought in the carriage. And now, behold
her suddenly changed into something like the head of a community or
a family boarding house, thoughtful and kindly, but exacting, even
arbitrary. One must be punctual at meals, explain his absences, guard
his words before the children, not turn either principles or people
into ridicule. Had her responsibilities changed her and turned her
head? She assumed the place of our parents in matters of conscience,
but I gave her to understand that boys didn’t obey girls, and that any
directions she might have received did not concern me. She insisted,
and almost from the outset we were in a state of tension which was
almost conflict.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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