He spoke as we used to speak when we were little. But had we ever left
off saying The House? I saw him so old and weak and hardly realised
that it was he who used to take me into the woods and on the lake, in
those days when both of us used to sally forth in all tranquillity
for the conquest of liberty. In my transformation, going to the other
extreme, I gazed upon him now with an excessive pity which bordered
upon contempt.
Yes, when the soldiers are on the ramparts the town may question and
discuss, may they not? It questions and discusses the utility of arms
and fortifications, their destruction appearing a slight thing. But
what if there are no soldiers and the enemy is at the gates?
Thus in the old days we could talk of our desires and our dreams, of
the commonwealth of the future, and above all, of our dear liberty. We
could, then, and now we can no more, for there is no one defending us,
and we are face to face with life, with our own destinies. He is no
longer here, grandfather, who used to mount guard on the ramparts for
the whole family.
Aunt Deen was putting finishing touches to the table. She was very old
to impose so much labour upon herself, never stopping to rest from
morning till night.
“Don’t, aunt, it is not your work.”
But she protested and muttered and began to weep aloud.
“You mustn’t prevent my working. I feel it less when I am working.”
Didn’t I know, too, that there was now no one in the kitchen but
Mariette, because things were changed with us? Each of us must do his
part, and Aunt Deen, as usual, began first.
Louise was no longer gay, as she used to be. She came in, leading her
sister Nicola, as if to protect her. Why did I look more lovingly at
their fair hair? Was I already thinking of the new uncertainties of
their future? Jamie, left mostly to himself these latter days, had not
been good, and my mother was reproving him. He probably thought that
she would never think of scolding him, and all astonishment, he obeyed.
And now we must take our seats around the table.
Mother had taken her old place in the middle, and I found in her
manner, in her voice gentle as always, an indescribable new authority,
inexplicable and yet to be felt. She turned to grandfather, who came
next.
“It is for you to take his place,” she said indicating my father’s
chair, opposite to hers.
“Oh, not I!” exclaimed grandfather with agitation. “Valentine, I can’t
take that place. I am nothing now but an old beast.”
She urged, but in vain; nothing would induce him to yield. Then my
mother turned to me with that expression, at once calm and frightened,
which she had worn ever since--since she became a widow.
“It must be you,” she said.
Without a word I seated myself in my father’s place and for a few
moments I found it impossible to speak. Why this emotion for so
simple and natural a thing? So simple and so natural indeed was the
transmission of authority.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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