The House: An Episode in the Lives of Reuben Baker, Astronomer, and of His Wife, AliceField, Eugene
General
The House: An Episode in the Lives of Reuben Baker, Astronomer, and of His Wife, Alice
Field, Eugene
Home ownership -- Fiction; Humorous stories
Furthermore Mr. Devoe represented that the trees, shrubbery, and grass
of our premises would be directly benefited by his sprinkling cart; the
gracious flood of water, distributed twice a day by his itinerant cart,
would not only lay the dust of the highway, but also permeate and
circulate through the contiguous soil, bearing refreshment and health
to tree, plant, and flower alike. The vigor of vegetation meant much
to humanity; by this means an abundance of ozone would be supplied to
the circumambient atmosphere, insuring healthful sleep and general
reinvigoration to man, woman, and child.
Mr. Devoe's presentation of the facts and possibilities was so
convincing that both Alice and I recognized the propriety of securing
his services. The sum of ten cents per diem seemed very trifling; it
was not until after Mr. Devoe had departed with our contract in his
pocket that we began to realize that, however insignificant ten cents
per diem might be, seventy cents per week was not to be sneezed at,
while twenty-one dollars for the season was simply a gross
extravagance. I was in favor of recalling and annulling our contract
with Mr. Devoe, but Alice insisted that we should keep strictly in line
with the other neighbors, doing nothing likely to stigmatize us either
as mean or as unfashionable.
A day or two after this incident a ruffianly looking fellow called on
us to "make arrangements," as he said, about hauling away our garbage
when we got moved into our new house. I told the fellow that the city
sent a garbage wagon around every week to remove the garbage free of
cost. To this the fellow replied that the city did its work
carelessly, that the wagon was invariably overloaded, and that no
reliance could be placed upon the garbage boxes being emptied if that
responsible duty were intrusted to the city employes.
The fellow seemed to know what he was talking about, and his
representations were so fair that finally I agreed to pay him
twenty-five cents a week for hauling the garbage away. That evening I
heard from Mr. Baylor that the scheme was a vulgar bit of blackmail;
that the fellow was driver for one of the city wagons and made a
practice of extorting fees from householders for doing work which he
was already paid to do. I felt grievously outraged and I threatened to
report this infamy to the municipal authorities. But Mr. Baylor and
other friends assured me that these infamous practices of blackmail
were encouraged at the City Hall, and that I would simply be laughed at
if I ventured to complain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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