The House by the Church-YardLe Fanu, Joseph Sheridan
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The House by the Church-Yard
Le Fanu, Joseph Sheridan
Country life -- Ireland -- Fiction; Ireland -- Social life and customs -- 18th century -- Fiction
'I say, Puddock, keep her head a little more up the stream, will you?'
said Cluffe, thinking no evil, and only to show his nautical knowledge.
'It's easy to say keep her head up the stream,' gasped Puddock who was
now labouring fearfully, and quite crimson in the face, tugging his
words up with a desperate lisp, and too much out of breath to say more.
The shades of the night and the roar of the waters prevented Cluffe
observing these omens aright.
'What the plague are you doing _now_? cried Cluffe, arresting a
decorative passage in the middle, and for the first time seriously
uncomfortable, as the boat slowly spun round, bringing what Cluffe
called her head--though head and tail were pretty much alike--toward the
bank they had quitted.
'Curse you, Puddock, why--what are you going back for? you can't do it.'
'Lend a hand,' bawled Puddock, in extremity. 'I say, help, seize the
rope; I say, Cluffe, quick, Sir, my arms are breaking.'
There was no exaggeration in this--there seldom was in any thing Puddock
said; and the turn of the boat had twisted his arms like the strands of
a rope.
'Hold on, Puddock, curse you, I'm comin',' roared Cluffe, quite alive to
the situation. 'If you let go, I'm _diddled_ but I'll shoot you.'
'Catch the rope, I thay, Thir, or 'tith all over!'
Cluffe, who had only known that he was slowly spinning round, and that
Puddock was going to commit him to the waves, made a vehement exertion
to catch the rope, but it was out of reach, and the boat rocked so
suddenly from his rising, that he sat down by mistake again, with a
violent plump that made his teeth gnash, in his own place; and the shock
and his alarm stimulated his anger.
'Hold on, Sir; hold on, you little devil, I say, one minute,
here--hold--hollo!'
While Cluffe was shouting these words, and scrambling forward, Puddock
was crying--
'Curth it, Cluffe, quick--oh! hang it, I can't thtand it--bleth my
_thoul_!
And Puddock let go, and the boat and its precious freightage, with a
horrid whisk and a sweep, commenced its seaward career in the dark.
'Take the oars, Sir, hang you!' cried Cluffe.
'There are no oarth,' replied Puddock, solemnly.
'Or the helm.'
'There'th no helm.'
'And what the devil, Sir?' and a splash of cold water soused the silken
calves of Cluffe at this moment.
'Heugh! heugh!--and what the devil _will_ you do, Sir? you don't want to
drown me, I suppose?' roared Cluffe, holding hard by the gunwale.
'_You_ can thwim, Cluffe; jump in, and don't mind me,' said little
Puddock, sublimely.
Cluffe, who was a bit of a boaster, had bragged, one evening at mess,
of his swimming, which he said was famous in his school days; 'twas a
lie, but Puddock believed it implicitly.
'Thank you!' roared Cluffe. 'Swim, indeed!--buttoned up this
way--and--and the gout too.'
'I say, Cluffe, save the guitar, if you can,' said Puddock.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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