The House by the Church-YardLe Fanu, Joseph Sheridan
General
The House by the Church-Yard
Le Fanu, Joseph Sheridan
Country life -- Ireland -- Fiction; Ireland -- Social life and customs -- 18th century -- Fiction
'Surrendhur, you thievin' villain, or I'll put the contints iv this gun
into yir carcass,' shouted an awful voice from the right bank, and
Puddock saw the outline of a gigantic marksman, preparing to fire into
his corresponding flank.
'What do you mean, Sir?' shouted Puddock, in extreme wrath and
discomfort.
'Robbin' the nets, you spalpeen; if you throw them salmon you're hidin'
undher your coat into the wather, be the tare-o-war--'
'What salmon, Sir?' interrupted the lieutenant. 'Why, salmon's not in
season, Sir.'
'None iv yer flummery, you schamin' scoundrel; but jest come here and
give yourself up, for so sure as you don't, or dar to stir an inch from
that spot, I'll blow you to smithereens!'
'Captain Cluffe is drowned, Sir; and I'm Lieutenant Puddock,' rejoined
the officer.
'Tare-an-ouns, an' is it yerself, Captain Puddock, that's in it?' cried
the man. 'I ax yer pardon; but I tuk you for one of thim vagabonds
that's always plundherin' the fish. And who in the wide world, captain
jewel, id expeck to see you there, meditatin' in the middle of the
river, this time o' night; an' I dunna how in the world you got there,
at all, at all, for the planking is carried away behind you since
yistherday.'
'Give an alarm, if you please, Sir, this moment,' urged Puddock.
'Captain Cluffe has gone over this horrid weir, not a minute since, and
is I fear drowned.'
'Dhrownded! och! bloody wars.'
'Yes, Sir, send some one this moment down the stream with a rope--'
'Hollo, Jemmy?' cried the man, and whistled through his crooked finger.
'Jemmy,' said he to the boy who presented himself, 'run down to Tom
Garret, at the Millbridge, and tell him Captain Cluffe's dhrownded over
the weir, and to take the boat-hook and rope--he's past the bridge by
this time--ay is he at the King's House--an' if he brings home the
corpse alive or dead, before an hour, Captain Puddock here will give him
twenty guineas reward.' So away went the boy.
''Tis an unaisy way you're situated yourself, I'm afeard,' observed the
man.
'Have the goodness to say, Sir, by what meanth, if any, I can reach
either bank of the river,' lisped Puddock, with dignity.
''Tis thrue for you, captain, _that's_ the chat--how the divil to get
you alive out o' the position you're in. Can you swim?'
'No, Thir.'
'An' how the dickens did you get there?'
'I'd rather hear, Sir, how I'm to get away, if you please,' replied
Puddock, loftily.
'Are you bare-legged?' shouted the man.
'No, Sir,' answered the little officer, rather shocked.
'An' you're there wid shoes on your feet.
'Of course, Sir,' answered Puddock.
'Chuck them into the water this instant minute,' roared the man.
'Why, there are valuable buckles, Sir,' remonstrated Puddock.
'Do you mane to say you'd rather be dhrownded in yer buckles than alive
in yer stockin' feet?' he replied.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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