The House by the RiverHerbert, A. P. (Alan Patrick)
General
The House by the River
Herbert, A. P. (Alan Patrick)
London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Murder -- Fiction; Poets -- Fiction
contemptuously, when he had gone. Or so he thought. For he was never
sure. He felt sometimes that he would like to stop and make sure. He
would like to say to the two young women with the baskets whom he passed
every day, "I believe you were saying something about me.... I know what
it was.... Well, it's all rot.... It was another man did it, really....
I can't explain ... but you've no right to look at me like that." He
longed to be able to justify himself, for he was a warm and sympathetic
soul, and liked to be on terms of vague friendliness and respect with
people he met or passed in the streets or dealt with daily in shops; he
liked saying "Good morning" to milkmen and porters and policemen and
paper-boys. And the fear that any day any of these people might ignore
him or insult him was a terrible fear.
Contrary to the common belief, it is more difficult for an innocent man,
if he be shy and sensitive, to look the whole world in the face than it
is for the abandoned evil-doer with his guilt fresh upon him. So John
avoided people he knew as much as he could. He avoided even his friends.
The kindly Whittakers made special efforts to bring him to their house.
They urged him to come in on their Wednesday evenings that they might
show the Vincents and the Vincent following what decent people thought
of him. But he would not go. He could not face the possibility of a
public insult in a drawing-room, some degrading, hot-cheeked, horrible
"scene."
And after all, it was only for a little time. Mrs. Byrne was still in a
bad way, but she was "out of the wood," Mrs. Bantam said. And when she
was quite well, Stephen of course would somehow manage to put things
right, in spite of his extraordinary conduct at the inquest. He did not
see Stephen for ten days after the inquest. He had felt sometimes that
he would like to see him, would like to tell him how awkward he had made
things by the way he had given his evidence. But it seemed hardly fair
to worry him. He must be worried enough, as it was, poor man. And John
felt that he would never be able to approach the topic without seeming
to be questioning Stephen's loyalty. And he did not want to do that. He
was quite sure that Stephen had never meant to put things as he had. It
was nervousness; and the muddle-headedness that comes from too much
thinking, too much planning, and the musty, intimidating atmosphere of
the Coroner's Court, and the stupid badgering of the smug Coroner.
Probably Stephen had hardly known what he was saying. He himself had
felt like that. And Stephen had had far more reason for nervousness in
that place. When Margery was better, he would go round and see Stephen,
and Stephen would "do the right thing." That was his own phrase.
Meanwhile, people must be avoided, and Mrs. Bantam was a great comfort.
Mrs. Bantam had shown herself a loyal and devoted soul. She, at least,
had perfect faith in him. There had never been a sack in _this_ house,
_that_ she knew. And that was all about it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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