New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Prostitutes -- Fiction
"Well," she sighed, "I certainly hope you can."
For some minutes after the door closed, Mary lay still. She had
again been brought face to face with the most poignant of tragedies,
the tragedy of living.
An hour earlier, had she questioned herself, she would have said that
she was careless of life, that neither this earth nor the quitting of
it interested her, that continued existence was a matter of
indifference. Then she was in that state of exultation above things
mundane which is produced only by great sorrow, great joy, or the
great revenges that are both grief and triumph. But now the words of
the landlady had brought her back from the indulgence of
contemplation to the necessity of action. Mary's insidious,
implacable disease had completed what her business had begun, and
what her business alone would have completed far more slowly. The
few emotions that she was now capable of feeling were the more
intense because of their rarity, but their intensity was equaled by
their brevity and, when the moment had gone, it left her even more of
a moral weakling than it had found her.
She knew Mrs. Foote and her tribe too well to deceive herself as to
what must happen should the morning dawn upon an empty stocking.
Life held nothing for which Mary greatly cared, but the instant of
death contained all of which she was afraid. She did not greatly
want to harm others by plying her trade in her present condition, but
she could not think of others. Each step would be a separate wound
to her tortured body and her throbbing head, but she understood that
the landlady had to wring out the rents by the means that conditions
had forced upon her; and so the worst of fears, the fear of poverty,
which is the fear of death, took this sick woman from her bed,
dressed her in her best frock, and sent her out into the street.
Along Sixth Avenue, where fortune had often, theretofore, been kind
to her, she met no significant glances. A passing girl or two,
having missed her for the last few evenings, proffered a casual
sympathy; but that was all. Through the open doors of the Haymarket,
she turned in, but there even the women at first disregarded her.
Several men that she recognized in the boxes of the gallery around
the little hall nodded, but immediately looked away. The one man
that she happened to know better than any of the others did not
appear at all to remember her, and his neighbor, who had frequently
accompanied her, signaled elsewhere.
She was lonely. She approached two women who were circling the
floor, arm in arm. She addressed them with the familiarity of the
craft.
"Hello," she said.
The one woman smiled, but her companion, a formidable, tailor-made
personage, swelled with dignity.
"You better beat it," she declared.
Mary flushed.
"What's eatin' you?" she demanded.
"You don't belong here," the woman answered. She made a lofty survey
of Mary's finery, and then added: "Goin'?"
Mary's heart sickened, but she stood her ground.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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