The House of Defence v. 2Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
Science
The House of Defence v. 2
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
Christian Science -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Spiritual healing -- Fiction
He fixed his mind on this till it all acquiesced, and not only all open
revolt, but all covert rebellion and dissent ceased. And the moment that
was done, even as, without apparent reason, a sudden surge of water in a
calm sea sets the weeds waving and submerges rocks, so from the
unplumbed abyss of Love a wave swept softly and hugely over his doubts
and drynesses, covering them with the message from the infinite sea.
What had all his doubt and rebellion been about? He did not know.
The cold outside was intense; it had come on to freeze more sharply than
ever at sunset, but he got up and set his window open. The aid that gave
him in the work that lay before him now was adventitious only, but he
found it easier to detach himself from the myriad distractions of mortal
mind if, instead of breathing the close atmosphere of a room that was
full of human associations, the taintless air of out of doors, of night
and of cold, came in upon him. Very possibly that feeling itself was a
claim of mortal mind, but it was better to yield to such a claim when it
was clearly innocent, if it told him that the realisation of truth was
thereby made more complete to his sense, than to waste energy in
fighting it. And then, as he had done before when he went to the bedside
of Sandie Mackenzie, he called his thoughts home. Thoughts of the day
and the sea, of the sunshine, and the windless frost and the virgin
snow, came flocking back, and went to sleep. Other thoughts, a little
more laggard, a little less willing to rest, had to obey also: he had to
forget the book he had been reading during his dinner, the swift hour of
skating he had enjoyed after he came back to town, the friend he had
met and talked with in the street. And another thought more wide-awake
yet had to be put to sleep (and, if possible, be strangled as it was
sleeping)--namely, his strong physical disgust for a man who, through
sheer weakness and self-indulgence, had allowed himself to get into the
state in which he had found his patient: that slack lip, that sallow
face, that dull, stale eye, the thinning, whitening hair, were like some
voluntary and ghastly disfigurement, as if Thurso had striven with his
own hands to deface and render hideous his own body, and had succeeded
so well that to Cochrane this morning he had been scarcely recognisable.
But all this had to sleep; all his disgust had to be done away with. You
could not heal a leper by shuddering at his sores.
Slowly and with conscious effort that was done, but there was still one
soaring thought abroad, stronger of wing, harder to recall than any.
Maud, too, had to be called home (and the irony of the phrase struck
him). Her beauty, her incomparable charm, her serene, splendid bravery
with her brother, and his love for her, must now be all non-existent for
him. She must cease--all thought of her must cease.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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