Mother Anastasia gave a sigh. "The unreasonableness of men is something
inexplicable. Perhaps you think I am not old enough to give you advice,
but I will say that, for your own sake, you ought to crush and
obliterate the feelings you have toward our sister; and if you do not
choose to do it for your own sake, you ought to do it for her sake and
that of our sisterhood. It makes it extremely awkward for us, to say the
least of it, to know that there is a gentleman in the village who is in
love with one of the sisters of the House of Martha."
"I suppose you would have me exile myself," I replied, "leave forever my
home, my grandmother, everything that is dear to me, and all for the
sake of the peace and quiet of your sisterhood. Let me assure you I do
not care enough for your sisterhood to do that."
The Mother Superior smiled ironically, but not ill-naturedly. "I am very
much afraid," she remarked, "that in this matter you care for no one but
yourself. There is nothing so selfish as a man in love."
"He needs to be," I answered. "But tell me, is Sylvia here?"
"Sylvia again," said she, half laughing. "Yes, she has returned to the
House of Martha, and you can see for yourself that, if you continue in
your present state of mind, it will be impossible for her ever to go
outside of the house."
"I shall not hurt her," I answered.
"Yes, you will hurt her," quickly replied Mother Anastasia. "You will
hurt her very much, if you meet her, and show by your words, looks, or
actions that your former attitude toward her is not changed." She came
nearer to me, looking into my face with her eyes full of an earnest
tenderness, and as she spoke she laid the tips of her fingers gently
upon my shoulder. She had a very pleasant way of doing this. "I do
wish," she said, "that you would let me prevail upon you to do what your
conscience must tell you is right. If you have ever loved the girl who
was once Sylvia Raynor, that is the best of reasons why you should cease
to love her now. You owe it to her to cease to love her."
I looked steadily into the face of the Mother Superior.
"You promise me that you will do that?" she said, with a smile upon her
lips and a light in her eyes which might have won over almost any man to
do almost anything. "You promise me that you will allow our young
sister, who has hardships enough to bear without any more being thrust
upon her, to try to be happy in the way she has chosen, and that you
will try to be happy in the way you should have chosen; that you will go
out into the world and act your part in life; that you will look upon
this affair as something which has vanished into the past; and that you
will say to your heart, 'You are free, if not by my will, by the
irresistible force of circumstances'?"
I looked at her a few moments in silence, and then answered, very
quietly, "I shall do nothing of the kind."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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