New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Single women -- Fiction; Social classes -- Fiction
Selden’s entrance had caused Lily an inward start of embarrassment;
but his air of constraint had the effect of restoring her
self-possession, and she took at once the tone of surprise and
pleasure, wondering frankly that he should have traced her to so
unlikely a place, and asking what had inspired him to make the
search.
Selden met this with an unusual seriousness: she had never seen him
so little master of the situation, so plainly at the mercy of any
obstructions she might put in his way. “I wanted to see you,” he
said; and she could not resist observing in reply that he had kept
his wishes under remarkable control. She had in truth felt his long
absence as one of the chief bitternesses of the last months: his
desertion had wounded sensibilities far below the surface of her
pride.
Selden met the challenge with directness. “Why should I have come,
unless I thought I could be of use to you? It is my only excuse for
imagining you could want me.”
This struck her as a clumsy evasion, and the thought gave a flash
of keenness to her answer. “Then you have come now because you
think you can be of use to me?”
He hesitated again. “Yes: in the modest capacity of a person to
talk things over with.”
For a clever man it was certainly a stupid beginning; and the
idea that his awkwardness was due to the fear of her attaching a
personal significance to his visit, chilled her pleasure in seeing
him. Even under the most adverse conditions, that pleasure always
made itself felt: she might hate him, but she had never been able
to wish him out of the room. She was very near hating him now;
yet the sound of his voice, the way the light fell on his thin
dark hair, the way he sat and moved and wore his clothes—she was
conscious that even these trivial things were inwoven with her
deepest life. In his presence a sudden stillness came upon her, and
the turmoil of her spirit ceased; but an impulse of resistance to
this stealing influence now prompted her to say: “It’s very good of
you to present yourself in that capacity; but what makes you think
I have anything particular to talk about?”
Though she kept the even tone of light intercourse, the question
was framed in a way to remind him that his good offices were
unsought; and for a moment Selden was checked by it. The situation
between them was one which could have been cleared up only by a
sudden explosion of feeling; and their whole training and habit
of mind were against the chances of such an explosion. Selden’s
calmness seemed rather to harden into resistance, and Miss Bart’s
into a surface of glittering irony, as they faced each other from
the opposite corners of one of Mrs. Hatch’s elephantine sofas. The
sofa in question, and the apartment peopled by its monstrous mates,
served at length to suggest the turn of Selden’s reply.
“Gerty told me that you were acting as Mrs. Hatch’s secretary; and
I knew she was anxious to hear how you were getting on.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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