New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Single women -- Fiction; Social classes -- Fiction
These were her superficial considerations; but under them lurked
the secret dread that the obligation might not always remain
intolerable. She knew she could not count on her continuity of
purpose, and what really frightened her was the thought that she
might gradually accommodate herself to remaining indefinitely
in Trenor’s debt, as she had accommodated herself to the part
allotted her on the Sabrina, and as she had so nearly drifted
into acquiescing with Stancy’s scheme for the advancement of Mrs.
Hatch. Her danger lay, as she knew, in her old incurable dread
of discomfort and poverty; in the fear of that mounting tide of
dinginess against which her mother had so passionately warned her.
And now a new vista of peril opened before her. She understood
that Rosedale was ready to lend her money; and the longing to take
advantage of his offer began to haunt her insidiously. It was of
course impossible to accept a loan from Rosedale; but proximate
possibilities hovered temptingly before her. She was quite sure
that he would come and see her again, and almost sure that, if he
did, she could bring him to the point of offering to marry her on
the terms she had previously rejected. Would she still reject them
if they were offered? More and more, with every fresh mischance
befalling her, did the pursuing furies seem to take the shape of
Bertha Dorset; and close at hand, safely locked among her papers,
lay the means of ending their pursuit. The temptation, which her
scorn of Rosedale had once enabled her to reject, now insistently
returned upon her; and how much strength was left her to oppose it?
What little there was must at any rate be husbanded to the utmost;
she could not trust herself again to the perils of a sleepless
night. Through the long hours of silence the dark spirit of fatigue
and loneliness crouched upon her breast, leaving her so drained
of bodily strength that her morning thoughts swam in a haze of
weakness. The only hope of renewal lay in the little bottle at her
bed-side; and how much longer that hope would last she dared not
conjecture.
Chapter 11
Lily, lingering for a moment on the corner, looked out on the
afternoon spectacle of Fifth Avenue. It was a day in late April,
and the sweetness of spring was in the air. It mitigated the
ugliness of the long crowded thoroughfare, blurred the gaunt
roof-lines, threw a mauve veil over the discouraging perspective of
the side streets, and gave a touch of poetry to the delicate haze
of green that marked the entrance to the Park.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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