Humorous stories; Married people -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"It's Mrs. Burke, the one whose sons are in the army," whispers Vee.
"Well?" demands Belcher.
"It's so much to pay for meat like that," says Mrs. Burke. "If you
could----"
"Take it or leave it," snaps Belcher.
"Sure now," says she, "you know I can't afford to give----"
"Then get out!" orders Belcher.
At which Vee swings open the door of the cage, brushes past me, and
faces him with her eyes snappin'.
"Pig!" says she explosive.
"Wha-a-a-at!" gasps Belcher, gawpin' at her.
"I--I beg pardon," says Vee. "I shouldn't have said that, even if it was
so."
"You--you're discharged, you!" roars Belcher.
"Isn't that nice?" says Vee, reachin' for her hat and coat. "Then I can
go home with my husband, I suppose. And if I have earned any of that
princely salary--five dollars a week, it was to be, wasn't it?--well,
you may credit it to my account: Mrs. Richard Tabor Ballard, you know.
Come, Torchy."
Say, I always did suspect there was mighty few things Vee was afraid of,
but I never thought she had so much clear grit stowed away in her
system. For to sail past Belcher the way he looked then took a heap of
nerve, believe me. But before he can get that thick tongue of his
limbered up we're outside, with Vee snuggled up mufflin' the giggles
against my coat sleeve.
"Oh, it's been such a lark, Torchy!" says she. "I've passed as Miss
Hemmingway for six days, and I don't believe more than three or four
persons have suspected. Thank goodness, Belcher wasn't one of them. For
I've learned--oh, such a lot!"
"Let's start at the beginning," says I. "Why did you do it at all?"
"Because the committee was so ready to believe the whoppers he told,"
says Vee. "And they wanted to disband the League, especially that Mrs.
Norton Plummer, whose husband is a lawyer. She was almost disagreeable
about it. Truly. 'But, my dear,' she said to me, 'one can't act merely
on rumor and prejudice. If we had a few facts or figures it might be
different.' And you know that sour smile of hers. Well! That's why I did
it. I asked them to give me ten days. And now----"
Vee finishes by squeezin' my arm.
"But how'd you come to break in so prompt?" I asks. "Did you mesmerize
Belcher?"
"I bought up his cashier--paid her to report that she was ill," says
Vee. "Then I smoothed back my hair, put on this old black dress, and
went begging for the job. That's when I began to know Mr. Belcher. He's
quite a different person when he is hiring a cashier from the one you
see talking to customers. Really, I've never been looked at that way
before--as if I were some sort of insect. But when he found I would work
cheap, and could get Mrs. Robert Ellins to go on my bond if I should
turn out a thief, he took me on.
"Getting up so early was a bit hard, and eating a cold luncheon harder
still; but worst of all was having to hear him growl and snap at the
clerks. Oh, he's perfectly horrid. I don't see how they stand it. Of
course, I had my share. 'Miss Blockhead' was his pet name for me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account