The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All AgesBarnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
General
The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All Ages
Barnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
Impostors and imposture
As to form--they are all written, not, lithographed; they are on paper
of the same make and size, and out of the same lot, as you observe by
the manufacturer's stamp--a representation of the Capitol in the upper
corner. They are in the same hand, an easy legible business-hand, though
three of them are written with a backward slope. Those who sent them
have not sent me the envelopes with them, except in one case, so that I
cannot tell where they were mailed. Neither is any one of them dated
inside at any town or post-office. But, by a wonderful coincidence,
every one of them is dated at "No. 17 Merchants' Exchange." A busy mart
that No. 17 must be! And it is a still more curious coincidence that
every one of these six industrious chaps has been unable to find a
sufficiently central location for transacting his business. Every letter
you see, contains a printed slip advising of a removal, as follows:
"REMOVAL.--Desiring a more central location for transacting my business,
I have removed my office to No. 17 Merchants Exchange." Where? One says
to West Troy, New York; another to Patterson, New Jersey; another to
Bronxville, New York; another, to Salem, New-York, and so on! It is a
new thing to find how central all those places are. Undeveloped
metropolises seem to exist in every corner. Well, the slip ends with a
notice that in future letters must be directed to the new place.
Next, as to substance. The six letters all tell the same story. They
are each the second letter; the first one having been sent to the same
person, and having contained a lottery-ticket, as a gift of love or free
charity. This second letter is the one which is expected to "fetch." It
says in substance: "Your ticket has drawn a prize of $200,"--the letters
all name the same amount--"but you didn't pay for it; and therefore are
not entitled to it. Now send me $10 and I will cheat the lottery-man by
altering the post-mark of your letter so that the money shall seem to
have been sent before the lottery was drawn. This forgery will enable me
to get the $200, which I will send you."
How cunning that is! It is exactly calculated to hit the notions of a
vulgar, ignorant, lazy, greedy, and unprincipled bumpkin. Such a fellow
would see just far enough into the millstone to be tickled at the idea
of cheating those lottery fellows. And the knave ends his letter with
one more touch most delicately adapted to make Master Bumpkin feel
certain that his cash is coming. He says, "Be sure to show your prize to
all your friends, so as to make them buy tickets at my office."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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