The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All AgesBarnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
General
The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All Ages
Barnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
Impostors and imposture
The next is a circular only to be very briefly alluded to: it promises
to furnish, on receipt of the price, and "by mail or express, with
perfect safety, so as to defy detection," any of twenty-two wholly
infamous books, and various other cards and commodities, well suited to
the public of Sodom and Gomorrah, etc. The most honest and decent things
advertised in this unclean list are "advantage-cards" which enable the
player to swindle his adversary by reading off his hand by the backs of
the cards.
The next paper I can copy verbatim, except some names, etc., is a letter
as follows:
"Dear Sir--There is a Package in My care for a Mrs. preston New Griswold
wich thare is 48 cts. fratage. Pleas forward the same. I shall send it
Per Express Your recpt."
It is some little comfort to know that this gentleman, who is so much
opposed to the present prevailing methods of spelling, lost the three
cents which he invested in seeking "fratage." But a good many sensible
people have carelessly sent away the small amounts demanded by letters
like the above, and have wondered why their prepaid parcels never came.
Next, is an account by a half amused and half indignant eye-witness, of
what happened in a well known town in Western New York, on Friday,
January 6, 1865. A personage described as "dressed in Yankee style,"
drove into the principal street of the place with a horse and buggy, and
began to sell what is called in some parts of New England "Attleboro,"
that is, imitation jewelry, but promising to return the customers their
money, if required, and doing so. After a number of transactions of this
kind, he bawls out, like the sorcerer in Aladdin, who went around
crying new lamps for old, "Who will give me four dollars for this
five-dollar greenback?"
He found a customer; sold a one-dollar greenback for ninety cents; then
sold some half-dollar bills for twenty-five cents each; then flung out
among the crowd what a fisherman would call ground bait, in the shape of
a handful of "currency."
Everybody scrambled for the money. This liberal trader now drove slowly
a little way along, and the crowd pressed after him.
He now began, without any further promises, to sell a lot of bogus
lockets at five dollars each, and in a few minutes had disposed of about
forty. Having, therefore, about two hundred dollars in his pocket, and
trade slackening, he coolly observes, with a terseness and clearness of
oratory that would not discredit General Sherman:
"Gentlemen--I have sold you those goods at my price. I am a licensed
peddler. If I give you your money back you will think me a lunatic. I
wish you all success in your ordinary vocations! Good morning!"
And sure enough, he drove off. That same cunning chap has actually made
a small fortune in this way. He really is licensed as a peddler, and
though arrested more than once, has consequently not been found legally
punishable.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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