The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All AgesBarnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
General
The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All Ages
Barnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
Impostors and imposture
While this monstrous Dutch gambling fury lasted, money was plenty,
everybody felt rich and Holland was in a whiz of windy delight. After
about three years of fool's paradise, people began to reflect that the
shuttlecock could not be knocked about in the air forever, and that when
it came down somebody would be hurt. So first one and then another began
quietly to sell out and quit the game, without buying in again. This
cautious infection quickly spread like a pestilence, as it always does
in such cases, and became a perfect panic or fright. All at once, as it
were, rich people all over Holland found themselves with nothing in the
world except a pocket full or a garden-bed full of flower roots that
nobody would buy and that were not good to eat, and would not have made
more than one tureen of soup if they were.
Of course this state of things caused innumerable bankruptcies,
quarrels, and refusals to complete bargains, everywhere. The government
and the courts were appealed to, but with Dutch good sense they refused
to enforce gambling transactions, and though the cure was very severe
because very sudden, they preferred to let "the bottom drop out" of the
whole affair at once. So it did. Almost everybody was either ruined or
impoverished. The very few who had kept any or all of their gains by
selling out in season, remained so far rich. And the vast actual
business interests of Holland received a damaging check, from which it
took many years to recover.
There were some curious incidents in the course of the tulipomania. They
have been told before, but they are worth telling again, as the poet
says, "To point the moral or adorn the tale."
A sailor brought to a rich Dutch merchant news of the safe arrival of a
very valuable cargo from the Levant. The old hunks rewarded the mariner
for his good tidings with one red herring for breakfast. Now Ben Bolt
(if that was his name--perhaps as he was a Dutchman it was something
like Benje Boltje) was very fond of onions, and spying one on the
counter as he went out of the store, he slipped it into his pocket, and
strolling back to the wharf, sat down to an odoriferous breakfast of
onions and herring. He munched away without finding anything unusual in
the flavor, until just as he was through, down came Mr. Merchant,
tearing along like a madman at the head of an excited procession of
clerks, and flying upon the luckless son of Neptune, demanded what he
had carried off besides his herring?
"An onion that I found on the counter."
"Where is it? Give it back instantly!"
"Just ate it up with my herring, mynheer."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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