The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All AgesBarnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
General
The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All Ages
Barnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
Impostors and imposture
"Having had some inkling of this wonderful place, and having a few days
to spare before going to London to fulfil an engagement at the Surry
Theatre, I thought I would probe this haunted-house story to the bottom.
I therefore called on the old gardener who had charge of the place, and
introduced myself as an American traveller desirous of spending a night
with his ghosts. The old man seemed to be about seventy-five or eighty
years of age. I met him at the gate of the estate, where he kept guard.
He told me, when I applied, that it was a dangerous spot to enter, but I
could pass it if I pleased. I should, however, have to return by the
same door, if I ever came back again.
"Wishing to make sure of the job, I gave him a sovereign, and asked him
to give me all the privileges of the establishment; and if his bill
amounted to more, I would settle it when I returned. He looked at me
with an expression of doubt and apprehension, as much as to say that he
neither understood what I was going to do nor what was likely to happen.
He merely remarked:
"'You can go in.'
"'Will you go with me, and show me the road?'
"'I will.'
"'Go ahead.'
"We entered. The gate closed. I suddenly turned on my man, the old
gardener and custodian of the place, and said to him:
"'Now, my patriarchal friend, I am going to sift this humbug to the
bottom, even if I stay here forty nights in succession; and I am
prepared to lay all "spirits" that present themselves; but if you will
save me all trouble in the matter and frankly explain to me the whole
affair, I will never mention it to your injury, and I will present you
with ten golden sovereigns.'
"The old fellow looked astonished; but he smirked, and whimpered, and
trembled, and said:
"'I am afraid to do that; but I will warn you against going too far.'
"When we had crossed a courtyard, he rang a bell, and several strange
noises were distinctly heard. I was introduced to the establishment
through a well-constructed archway, which led to a large stairway, from
which we proceeded to a great door, which opened into a very large room.
It was a library. The old custodian had carried a torch (and I was
prepared with a box of matches.) He was acting evidently 'on the
square,' and I sat myself down in the library, where he told me that I
should soon see positive evidence that this was a haunted house.
"Not being a very firm believer in the doctrine of houses really
haunted, I proposed to keep a pretty good hold of my match-box, and lest
there should be any doubt about it, I had also provided myself with two
sperm candles, which I kept in my pocket, so I should not be left too
suddenly and too long in the dark.
"'Now Sir,' said he, 'I wish you to hold all your nerves steady and keep
your courage up, because I intend to stand by you as well as I can, but
I never come into this house alone.'
"'Well, what is the matter with the house?'
"'Oh! everything, Sir!'
"'What?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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