The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All AgesBarnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
General
The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All Ages
Barnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
Impostors and imposture
"I lay down for this purpose, but I soon heard certain extraordinary
sounds that disturbed my repose. Chains were clanked, noises were made,
and shrieks and groans were heard from various parts of the mansion. All
of these I had expected. They did not frighten me much. A little while
after, just as I was going to sleep again, a curious string of light
burned around the room. It ran along on the walls in a zigzag line,
about six feet high, entirely through the apartment. I did not smell
anything bituminous or like sulphur. It flashed quicker than powder,
and it did not smell like it. Thinks I: 'This looks pretty well, we will
have some amusement now.' Then the jangling of bells, and clanking of
chains, and flashes of light; then thumpings and knockings of all sorts
came along, interspersed with shrieks and groans. I sat very quiet. I
had two of Colt's best pistols in my pocket, and I thought I could shoot
anything spiritual or material with these machines made in Connecticut.
I took them out and laid them on the table. One of them suddenly
disappeared! I did not like that, still my nerves were firm, for I knew
it was all gammon. I took the other pistol in my hand and surveyed the
room. Nobody was there; and, finally half suspicious that I had gone to
sleep and had a dream, I woke up with a grasp on my hand which was
holding the other pistol. This soon made me fully awake.
"I tried to recover my balance, and at this moment the candle went out.
I lit it with one of my lucifers. No person was visible, but the noises
began again, and they were infernal. I then took one of my sperm candles
out, and went to unlock the door. I attempted to take the key out of my
pocket. It was not there! Suddenly the door opened, I saw a man or a
somebody about the size of a man, standing straight in front of me. I
pointed one of Colt's revolvers at his head, for I thought I saw
something human about him; and I told him that whether he was ghost or
spirit, goblin or robber, he had better stand steady, or I would blow
his brains out, if he had any. And to make sure that he should not
escape I got hold of his arm, and told him that if he was a ghost he
would have a tolerably hard time of it, and that if he was a humbug I
would let him off if he would tell me the whole story about the trick.
"He saw that he was caught, and he earnestly begged me not to fire that
American pistol at him. I did not; but I did not let go of him. I
brought him into the library, and with pistol in hand I put him through
a pretty close examination. He was clad in mailed armor, with
breastplate and helmet, and a great sword, in the style of the
Crusaders. He promised, on condition of saving his life, to give me an
honest account of the facts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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