The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All AgesBarnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
General
The Humbugs of the World: An Account of Humbugs, Delusions, Impositions, Quackeries, Deceits and Deceivers Generally, in All Ages
Barnum, P. T. (Phineas Taylor)
Impostors and imposture
Louis de Rohan, a scion of the great house of Rohan, one of the proudest
of France, was descended of the blood royal of Brittany; was a handsome,
proud, dissolute, foolish, credulous, unprincipled noble, now almost
fifty years old, a thorough rake, of large revenues, but deeply in debt.
He was Peer of France, Archbishop of Strasburg, Grand Almoner of France,
Commander of the Order of the Holy Ghost, Commendator of the benefice of
St. Wast d'Arras, said to be the most wealthy in Europe, and a
Cardinal. He had been ambassador at Vienna a little after Marie
Antoinette was married to the Dauphin, and while there had taken
advantage of his official station to do a tremendous quantity of
smuggling. He had also further and most deeply offended the Empress
Maria Theresa, by outrageous debaucheries, by gross irreligion, and
above all by a rather flat but in effect stingingly satirical
description of her conduct about the partition of Poland. This she never
forgave him, neither did her daughter Marie Antoinette; and accordingly,
when he presented himself at Paris soon after she became Queen, he
received a curt repulse, and an intimation that he had better go
to--Strasburg.
Now in those days a sentence of exclusion from Court was to a French
noble but just this side of a banishment to Tophet; and de Rohan was
just silly enough to feel this infliction most intensely. He went
however, and from that time onward, for year after year, lived the life
of a persevering Adam thrust out of his paradise, hanging about the gate
and trying all possible ways to sneak in again. Once, for instance, he
had induced the porter at the palace of the Trianon to let him get
inside the grounds during an illumination, and was recognized by the
glow of his cardinal's red stockings from under his cloak. But he was
only laughed at for his pains; the porter was turned off, and the poor
silly miserable cardinal remained "out in the cold," breaking his heart
over his exclusion from the most tedious mess of conventionalities that
ever was contrived--except those of the court of Spain.
About 1783, this great fool fell in with an equally great knave, who
must be spoken of here, where he begins to converge along with the rest,
towards the explosion of the necklace swindle. This was Cagliostro, who
at that time came to Strasburg and created a tremendous excitement with
his fascinating Countess, his Egyptian masonry, his Spagiric Food (a
kind of Brandreth's pill of the period,) which he fed out to poor sick
people, his elixir of life, and other humbugs.
The Cardinal sent an intimation that he would like to see the quack. The
quack, whose impudence was far greater than the Cardinal's pride, sent
back this sublime reply: "If he is sick let him come to me, and I will
cure him. If he is well, he does not need to see me, nor I him."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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