The Humorous Poetry of the English Language; from Chaucer to Saxe
General
The Humorous Poetry of the English Language; from Chaucer to Saxe
American poetry; American wit and humor; English poetry; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, American; Humorous poetry, English
ANTI-JACOBIN.
FRIEND OF HUMANITY.
[Footnote: The "Friend of Humanity" was intended for Mr. Tierney, M.P.
for Southwark, who in early times was among the more forward of the
Reformers. "He was," says Lord Brougham, "an assiduous member of the
Society of Friends of the People, and drew up the much and justly
celebrated Petition in which that useful body laid before the House of
Commons all the more striking particulars of its defective title to
the office of representing the people, which that House then, as now,
but with far less reason, assumed.]
"Needy Knife-grinder! whither are you going?
Rough is the road, your wheel is out of order--
Bleak blows the blast; your hat has got a hole in't,
So have your breeches!"
THE WIDOW.
SAPPHIOS
Cold was the night wind; drifting fast the snows fell:
Wide were the downs, and shelterless and naked;
When a poor wand'rer struggled on her journey,
Weary and way-sore.
Drear were the downs, more dreary her reflections;
Cold was the night wind, colder was her bosom:
She had no home, the world was all before her.
She had no shelter.
Fast o'er the heath a chariot rattled by her:
"Pity me!" feebly cried the poor night wanderer,
"Pity me, strangers! lest with cold and hunger
Here I should perish."
"Weary Knife-grinder! little think the proud ones,
Who in their coaches roll along the turnpike-
road, what hard work 'tis crying all day 'Knives and
"'Scissors to grind O!'
Tell me, Knife-grinder, how came you to grind knives?
Did some rich man
tyrannically use you?
Was it the squire? or parson of the parish?
Or the attorney?
"Was it the squire, for killing of his game? or
Covetous parson, for his tithes distraining?
Or roguish lawyer, made you lose your little
All in a lawsuit?
"(Have you not read the Rights of Man, by Tom Paine?)Drops of
compassion tremble on my eyelids,
Ready to fall, as soon as you have told your
Pitiful story."
KNIFE-GRINDER.
"Story! God bless you! I have none to tell, sir,
Only last night a-drinking at the Chequers,
This poor old hat and breeches, as you see, were
Torn in a scuffle.
"Constables came up, for to take me into
Custody; they took me before the justice;
Justice Oldmixon put me in the parish--
Stocks for a vagrant.
"I should be glad to drink your Honor's health in
A pot of beer, if you will give me sixpence;
But for my part, I never love to meddle
With politics, sir."
FRIEND OF HUMANITY.
"I give thee sixpence! I will see thee damned first--
Wretch! whom no sense of wrongs can rouse to vengeance--
Sordid, unfeeling, reprobate, degraded,
Spiritless outcast!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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