The Humorous Poetry of the English Language; from Chaucer to Saxe
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The Humorous Poetry of the English Language; from Chaucer to Saxe
American poetry; American wit and humor; English poetry; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, American; Humorous poetry, English
Yet do not mourn. Although above thee
Never more shall parent brood.
Know, dainty darling! that I love thee
Dearly as thy mother could.
A FRAGMENT.
PUNCH.
His eye was stern and wild,--his cheek was pale and cold as clay;
Upon his tightened lip a smile of fearful meaning lay;
He mused awhile--but not in doubt--no trace of doubt was there;
It was the steady solemn pause of resolute despair.
Once more he look'd upon the scroll--once more its words he read--
Then calmly, with unflinching hand, its folds before him spread.
I saw him bare his throat, and seize the blue cold-gleaming steel,
And grimly try the tempered edge he was so soon to feel!
A sickness crept upon my heart, and dizzy swam my head,--
I could not stir--I could not cry--I felt benumb'd and dead;
Black icy horrors struck me dumb, and froze my senses o'er;
I closed my eyes in utter fear, and strove to think no more.
* * * * * * *
Again I looked,--a fearful change across his face had pass'd--
He seem'd to rave,--on cheek and lip a flaky foam was cast;
He raised on high the glittering blade--then first I found a tongue--
"Hold, madman! stay thy frantic deed!" I cried, and forth I sprung;
He heard me, but he heeded not; one glance around he gave;
And ere I could arrest his hand, he had begun to SHAVE!
EATING SONG.
PUNCH.
Oh! carve me yet another slice,
O help me to more gravy still,
There's naught so sure as something nice
To conquer care, or grief to kill.
I always loved a bit of beef,
When Youth and Bliss and Hope were mine;
And now it gives my heart relief
In sorrow's darksome hour--to dine!
THE SICK CHILD.
[BY THE HONOBABLE WILHELMINA SKEGGS.]
PUNCH.
A weakness seizes on my mind--I would more pudding take;
But all in vain--I feel--I feel--my little head will ache.
Oh! that I might alone be left, to rest where now I am,
And finish with a piece of bread that pot of currant jam.
I gaze upon the cake with tears, and wildly I deplore
That I must take a powder if I touch a morsel more,
Or oil of castor, smoothly bland, will offer'd be to me,
In wave pellucid, floating on a cup of milkless tea.
It may be so--I can not tell--I yet may do without;
They need not know, when left alone, what I have been about.
I long to eat that potted beef--to taste that apple-pie;
I long--I long to eat some more, but have not strength to try.
I gasp for breath, and now I know I've eaten far too much;
Not one more crumb of all the feast before me can I touch.
Susan, oh! Susan, ring the bell, and call for mother, dear,
My brain swims round--I feel it all--mother, your child is queer!
THE IMAGINATIVE CRISIS.
PUNCH.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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