"When ladies blush 'neath lusters' flush, And fast the waltzers fly, Though tame at tea I bide with thee, No tear shall dim my eye. When summer's close brings Chiswick shows-- When all from town have gone, I'll sit me down, nor pout nor frown, But sew thy buttons on!" THE PAID BILL A BALLAD OF DOMESTIC ECONOMY. PUNCH O fling not this receipt away, Given by one who trusted thee; Mistakes will happen every day However honest folks may be. And sad it is, love, twice to pay; So cast not that receipt away! Ah, yes; if e'er, in future hours, When we this bill have all forgot, They send it in again--ye powers! And swear that we have paid it not-- How sweet to know, on such a day We've never cast receipts away! PARODY FOR A REFORMED PARLIAMENT. PUNCH. The quality of bribery is deep stained; It droppeth from a hand behind the door Into the voter's palm. It is twice dirty: It dirts both him that gives, and him that takes. 'Tis basest in the basest, and becomes Low blacklegs more than servants of the Crown. Those swindlers show the force of venal power, The attribute to trick and roguery, Whereby 'tis managed that a bad horse wins: But bribery is below their knavish "lay." It is the vilest of dishonest things; It was the attribute to Gatton's self; And other boroughs most like Gatton show When bribery smothers conscience. Therefore, you, Whose conscience takes the fee, consider this-- That in the cause of just reform, you all Should lose your franchise: we do dislike bribery; And that dislike doth cause us to object to The deeds of W. B. THE WAITER. PUNCH. I met the waiter in his prime At a magnificent hotel; His hair, untinged by care or time, Was oiled and brushed exceeding well. When "waiter," was the impatient cry, In accents growing stronger, He seem'd to murmur "By and by, Wait a little longer." Within a year we met once more, 'Twas in another part of town-- An humbler air the waiter wore, I fancied he was going down. Still, when I shouted "Waiter, bread!" He came out rather stronger, As if he'd say with toss of head, "Wait a little longer." Time takes us on through many a grace; Of "ups and downs" I've had my run, Passing full often through the shade And sometimes loitering in the sun. I and the waiter met again At a small inn at Ongar; Still, when I call'd, 't was almost vain-- He bade me wait the longer. Another time--years since the last-- At eating-house I sought relief From present care and troubles past, In a small plate of round of beef. "One beef, and taturs," was the cry, In tones than mine much stronger; 'T was the old waiter standing by, "Waiting a little longer."