The Humorous Poetry of the English Language; from Chaucer to Saxe
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The Humorous Poetry of the English Language; from Chaucer to Saxe
American poetry; American wit and humor; English poetry; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, American; Humorous poetry, English
Opinion governs all mankind,
Like the blind's leading of the blind;
For he that has no eyes in 's head,
Must be by a dog glad to be led;
And no beasts have so little in 'em
As that inhuman brute, Opinion.
"Tis an infectious pestilence,
The tokens upon wit and sense,
That with a venomous contagion
Invades the sick imagination:
And, when it seizes any part,
It strikes the poison to the heart."
This men of one another catch,
By contact, as the humors match.
And nothing's so perverse in nature
As a profound opiniator.
CRITICS.
Critics are like a kind of flies, that breed
In wild fig-trees, and when they're grown up, feed
Upon the raw fruit of the nobler kind,
And, by their nibbling on the outward rind,
Open the pores, and make way for the sun
To ripen it sooner than he would have done.
HYPOCRISY.
Hypocrisy will serve as well
To propagate a church, as zeal;
As persecution and promotion
Do equally advance devotion:
So round white stones will serve, they pay,
As well as eggs to make hens lay.
POLISH.
All wit and fancy, like a diamond,
The more exact and curious 'tis ground,
Is forced for every carat to abate,
As much in value as it wants in weight.
THE GODLY.
A godly man, that has served out his time
In holiness, may set up any crime;
As scholars, when they've taken their degrees
May set up any faculty they please.
PIETY.
Why should not piety be made,
As well as equity, a trade,
And men get money by devotion,
As well as making of a motion?
B' allow'd to pray upon conditions,
As well as suitors in petitions?
And in a congregation pray,
No less than Chancery, for pay?
MARRIAGE.
All sorts of vot'ries, that profess
To bind themselves apprentices
To Heaven, abjure, with solemn vows,
Not Cut and Long-tail, but a Spouse
As the worst of all impediments
To hinder their devout intents.
POETS.
It is not poetry that makes men poor;
For few do write that were not so before;
And those that have writ best, had they been rich.
Had ne'er been clapp'd with a poetic itch;
Had loved their ease too well to take the pains
To undergo that drudgery of brains;
But, being for all other trades unfit,
Only t' avoid being idle, set up wit.
PUFFING.
They that do write in authors' praises,
And freely give their friends their voices
Are not confined to what is true;
That's not to give, but pay a due:
For praise, that's due, does give no more
To worth, than what it had before;
But to commend without desert,
Requires a mastery of art,
That sets a gloss on what's amiss,
And writes what should be, not what is.
POLITICIANS.
All the politics of the great
Are like the cunning of a cheat,
That lets his false dice freely run,
And trusts them to themselves alone,
But never lets a true one stir,
Without some fingering trick or slur;
And, when the gamester doubts his play,
Conveys his false dice safe away,
And leaves the true ones in the lurch
T' endure the torture of the search.
FEAR.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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