"God bless the King! God bless the faith's defender! God bless--no harm in blessing--the Pretender. But who that pretender is, and who that king, God bless us all, is quite another thing." ON SOME LINES OF LOPEZ DE VEGA. DR. JOHNSON. If the man who turnips cries, Cry not when his father dies, 'Tis a proof that he had rather Have a turnip than his father. ON A FULL-LENGTH PORTRAIT OF BEAU MARSH. Placed between the busts of Newton and Pope. LORD CHESTERFIELD "Immortal Newton never spoke More truth than here you'll find; Nor Pope himself e'er penn'd a joke More cruel on mankind. "The picture placed the busts between, Gives satire all its strength; Wisdom and Wit are little seen-- But Folly at full length." ON SCOTLAND. CLEVELAND. "Had Cain been Scot, God would have changed his doom; Nor forced him wander, but confined him home." EPIGRAMS OF PETER PINDAR. EDMUND BURKE'S ATTACK ON WARREN HASTINGS Poor Edmund sees poor Britain's setting sun: Poor Edmund GROANS--and Britain is UNDONE! Reader! thou hast, I do presume (God knows though) been in a snug room, By coals or wood made comfortably warm, And often fancied that a storm WITHOUT, Hath made a diabolic rout-- Sunk ships, tore trees up--done a world of harm. Yes, thou hast lifted up thy tearful eyes, Fancying thou heardst of mariners the cries; And sigh'd, "How wretched now must thousands be! Oh! how I pity the poor souls at sea!" When, lo! this dreadful tempest, and his roar, A ZEPHYR--in the key-hole of the door! Now may not Edmund's howlings be a sigh Pressing through Edmund's lungs for loaves and fishes, On which he long hath looked with LONGING eye To fill poor Edmund's not o'erburden'd dishes? Give Mun a sup--forgot will be complaint; Britain be safe, and Hastings prove a SAINT. ON AN ARTIST Who boasted that his pictures had hung near those of Sir Joshua Reynolds in the Exhibition. A shabby fellow chanc'd one day to meet The British Roscius in the street, Garrick, on whom our nation justly brags-- The fellow hugg'd him with a kind embrace-- "Good sir, I do not recollect your face," Quoth Garrick--"No!" replied the man of rags. "The boards of Drury you and I have trod Full many a time together, I am sure--" "When?" with an oath, cried Garrick--"for by G-- I never saw that face of yours before!-- What characters, I pray, Did you and I together play?" "Lord!" quoth the fellow, "think not that I mock-- When you play'd Hamlet, sir--I play'd the cock" ON THE CONCLUSION OF HIS ODES "FINISH'D!" a disappointed artist cries, With open mouth, and straining eyes; Gaping for praise like a young crow for meat-- "Lord! why have you not mentioned ME!" Mention THEE! Thy IMPUDENCE hath put me in a SWEAT-- What rage for fame attends both great and small Better be D--N'D, than mention'd NOT AT ALL! THE LEX TALIONIS UPON BENJAMIN WEST