Two scraps of foundation, some fragments of lace, A shower of French rose-buds to droop o'er the face; Fine ribbons and feathers, with crage and illusions, Then mix and DErange them in graceful confusion; Inveigle some fairy, out roaming for pleasure, And beg the slight favor of taking her measure, The length and the breadth of her dear little pate, And hasten a miniature frame to create; Then pour, as above, the bright mixture upon it, And lo! you possess "such a love of a bonnet!" MY WIFE AND I As my wife and I, at the window one day, Stood watching a man with a monkey, A cart came by, with a "broth of a boy," Who was driving a stout little donkey. To my wife I then spoke, by way of a joke, "There's a relation of yours in that carriage." To which she replied, as the donkey she spied, "Ah, yes, a relation--BY MARRIAGE!" ON TWO GENTLEMEN, One of whom, O'Connell, delayed a duel on the plea of his wife's illness; the other declined on account of the illness of his daughter. Some men, with a horror of slaughter, Improve on the Scripture command, And honor their wife and their daughter, That their days may be long in the land. WELLINGTON'S NOSE. "Pray, why does the great Captain's nose Resemble Venice?" Duncomb cries. "Why," quoth Sam Rogers, "I suppose. Because it has a bridge of size (sighs)." THE SMOKER. All dainty meats I do defy Which feed men fat as swine, He is a frugal man indeed That on a leaf can dine! He needs no napkin for his hands, His finger's ends to wipe, That keeps his kitchen in a box, And roast meat in his pipe! AN ESSAY ON THE UNDERSTANDING. "Harry, I can not think," says Dick, "What makes my ANKLES grow so thick:" "You do not recollect," says Harry, "How great a CALF they have to carry." TO A LIVING AUTHOR. Your comedy I've read, my friend, And like the half you pilfer'd best; But sure the piece you yet may mend: Take courage, man! and steal the rest. EPIGRAMS BY THOMAS HOOD. ON THE ART-UNIONS. That picture-raffles will conduce to nourish Design, or cause good coloring to flourish, Admits of logic-chopping and wise sawing, But surely lotteries encourage drawing. THE SUPERIORITY OF MACHINERY. A mechanic his labor will often discard If the rate of his pay he dislikes: But a clock--and its case is uncommonly hard-- Will continue to work though it STRIKES. EPIGRAMS BY W. SAVAGE LANDOR ON OBSERVING A VULGAR NAME ON THE PLINTH OF AN ANCIENT STATUE. Barbarians must we always be? Wild hunters in pursuit of fame? Must there be nowhere stone or tree Ungashed with some ignoble name. O Venus! in thy Tuscan dome May every god watch over thee! Apollo I bend thy bow o'er Rome, And guard thy sister's chastity. Let Britons paint their bodies blue As formerly, but touch not you. LYING IN STATE.