First, a Rittmeister's Frau, who was weak in both eyes, And supposed the most short-sighted woman in Holland, Found greater relief, to her joy and surprise, From one glimpse of his "squint" than from glasses by Dollond. By the slightest approach to the tip of his Nose, Meagrims, headache, and vapors were put to the rout; And one single touch of his precious Great Toes Was a certain specific for chillblains and gout. Rheumatics,--sciatica,--tic-douloureux! Apply to his shin-bones--not one of them lingers-- All bilious complaints in an instant withdrew, If the patient was tickled with one of his fingers. Much virtue was found to reside in his thumbs: When applied to the chest, they cured scantness of breathing. Sea-sickness, and colic; or, rubb'd on the gums, Were "A blessing to Mothers," for infants in teething. Whoever saluted the nape of his neck, Where the mark remain'd visible still of the knife, Notwithstanding east winds perspiration might check, Was safe from sore-throat for the rest of his life. Thus, while each acute and each chronic complaint Giving way, proved an influence clearly Divine, They perceived the dead Gentleman must be a Saint, So they lock'd him up, body and bones, in a shrine. Through country and town his new Saintship's renown As a first-rate physician kept daily increasing, Till, as Alderman Curtis told Alderman Brown, It seem'd as if "Wonders had never DONE CEASING," The Three Kings of Cologne began, it was known, A sad falling off in their offerings to find, His feats were so many--still the greatest of any,-- In every sense of the word, was-behind. For the German Police were beginning to cease From exertions which each day more fruitless appear'd, When Gengulphus himself, his fame still to increase, Unravell'd the whole by the help of--his beard! If you look back you'll see the aforesaid barbe gris, When divorced from the chin of its murder'd proprietor, Had been stuffed in the seat of a kind of settee, Or double-arm'd chair, to keep the thing quieter. It may seem rather strange, that it did not arrange Itself in its place when the limbs join'd together; Perhaps it could not get out, for the cushion was stout, And constructed of good, strong, maroon-color'd leather Or what is more likely, Gengulphus might choose, For saints, e'en when dead, still retain their volition, It should rest there, to aid some particular views, Produced by his very peculiar position, Be that as it may, on the very first day That the widow Gengulphus sat down on that settee, What occur'd almost frightened her senses away, Beside scaring her hand-maidens, Gertrude and Betty, They were telling their mistress the wonderful deeds Of the new Saint, to whom all the Town said their orisons; And especially how, as regards invalids, His miraculous cures far outrival'd Von Morison's.