The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day ScenesFalconbridge
General
The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day Scenes
Falconbridge
American wit and humor
George stood, his cap in one hand, and the other upon the door-knob; the
man was much agitated, and perceiving the lad lingered, he thrust his
hand into a carpet-bag, and hauling forth an old-fashioned wallet, he
opened it, and taking thence a coin, put it in the hands of the lad and
requested him to run home to his mother and deliver the message
immediately. The lad did as he was ordered; and the poor washerwoman,
the while, sat in her humble and ill-provided home, patiently awaiting
the return of her boy, and fearing the anger of the gentleman at the
hotel, when he should find his bank notes nearly, if not quite
destroyed, would probably so indispose him towards the child that he
would return empty-handed. But no; as the quick tread of the blithesome
lad smote upon the widow's ear, she rushed to the door to receive him.
"Dear son, was the gentleman very angry?"
"Angry, dear mother? No! he was far from angry. He said you must dry
these papers, and he would call to-night for them. And here, dear
mother, he gave me a large piece of beautiful yellow money!" And the
dutiful boy placed a golden doubloon in the trembling hand of the
overjoyed mother. They were saved--the golden coin soon made the widow's
domicil cheerful and happy.
It is almost needless to say, the five notes were not called for. They
laid in the widow's bureau drawer two entire years, when a friend to the
poor woman negotiated for their exchange into a dwelling-house and small
store. And to this little incident does a certain elderly lady and her
family owe their present prosperous and perfectly honorable position in
the respectable society of the city of ----.
We don't Wonder at It.
In the city, we get so many new _kicks_, and put on so many new ways of
living and doing up things, that no wonder the quiet and matter-of-fact
country folks make awkward mistakes, and get mixed up with our
conventionalities, and other doings. Dining at the American, last week,
we sat _vis-a-vis_ with an old-fashioned agricultural gent, whose plate
of mock turtle remained cooling for some time, while he was busy
thinking over a silver four-pronged fork in his hand. At length a broad
smile played over his manly features, as the novel-makers say, and he
opened--
"Well, I'm jiggered!--ha! ha! _they've got to eating soup with split
spoons, too!_"
Old Maguire and his Horse Bonny Doon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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