The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day ScenesFalconbridge
General
The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day Scenes
Falconbridge
American wit and humor
We shall never forget, and always feel proud of the fact, that we _knew_
so great an every-day _Plato_ as Davy Crockett. Had the old Colonel
never uttered a better idea than that everlasting good motto--"Be sure
you're right, then go ahead!" his wisdom would stand a pretty good
wrestle with tide and time, before his standing, as a man of genius,
would pass to oblivion--be washed out in Lethe's waters. We remember
hearing Col. Crockett relate, during a "speech," a short time before he
lost his life at the _Alamo_, in Texas--a little incident, of his being
taken up in New Orleans, one night, by a _gen d'arme_--lugged to the
calaboose, and kept there as an out-and-out "hard case," not being able
to find any body, hardly, that knew him, and being totally unable to
reconcile the chief of police to the fact that he _was_ the identical
Davy Crockett, or any body else, above par! "If you want to find out
your 'level,'--_ad valorem_, wake up some morning, noon or night--_where
nobody knows you!_" said the Colonel, "and if you ever feel so
essentially chawed up, _raw_, as I did in the calaboose, the Lord pity
you!"
There was a "modern instance" of Colonel Crockett's "wise saw," in the
case of a certain Philadelphia millionaire, who was in the habit of
_carting_ himself out, in a very ancient and excessively shabby gig;
which, in consequence of its utter ignorance of the stable-boy's brush,
sponge or broom, and the hospitalities the old concern nightly offered
the hens--was not exactly the kind of _equipage_ calculated to win
attention or marked respect, for the owner and driver. The old
millionaire, one day in early October, took it into his head to ride
out and see the country. Taking an early start, the old gentleman, and
his old bob-tailed, frost-bitten-looking horse, with that same old
shabby gig, about dusk, found themselves under the swinging sign of a
Pennsylvania Dutch tavern, in the neighborhood of Reading. As nobody
bestirred themselves to see to the traveller, he put his very
old-fashioned face and wig outside of the vehicle, and called--
"Hel-lo! hos-e-lair? Landlord?"
Leisurely stalking down the steps, the Dutch hostler advanced towards
the queer and questionable travelling equipage.
"Vel, vot you vont, ah?"
"Vat sal I vant? I sal vant to put oup my hoss, vis-ze stab'l, viz two
pecks of oats and plenty of hay, hos-e-lair."
"Yaw," was the laconic grunt of the hostler, as he proceeded to unhitch
old bald-face from his rigging.
"Stop one little," said the traveller. "I see 'tis very mosh like to
rain, to-night; put up my gig in ze stab'l, too."
"Boosh, tonner and blitzen, der rain not hurt yer ole gig!"
"I pay you for vat you sal do for me, mind vat I sal say, sair, if you
pleaze."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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