The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day ScenesFalconbridge
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The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day Scenes
Falconbridge
American wit and humor
The scene now changes; early one morning in the pleasant month of June,
as the poet might say, Dr. Pendleton St. Clair Smith was to be seen
before his toilet glass in the flourishing city of Syracuse,--giving the
finishing stroke to his highly-cultivated beard. The satisfaction with
which he made this demonstration, evinced the sereneness of his mind and
the _confidence_ with which he rested, in regard to his newspaper 'bills
in Boston. But a _tap_ is heard at his door, and at his invitation the
servant comes in, announces a gentleman in the parlor, desirous of
speaking to Dr. Smith. The Doctor waits upon the visitor--
"Dr. Pendleton St. Clair Smith, I presume?"
"Ye-e-s," slowly and suspiciously responded that individual.
"I am collector, sir," continued the stranger, "for the firm of
Peabody, Grab, Catchem, and Co., Boston. I have a small (!) bill against
you, sir, to collect."
"What for?" eagerly quoth the Doctor.
"Newspaper subscriptions and advertising, sir!"
"I a--I a, you a--well, you call in this evening," says the Doctor,
tremulously fumbling in his pockets--"I'll settle with you; good
morning."
"Good morning, sir," says the collector,--"I'll call."
That afternoon, Dr. Pendleton St. Clair Smith vamosed! He had barely got
located in Syracuse, before they had traced him; if he paid the printer,
a cloud of other debts would follow, and so he up stakes and made a
fresh _dive!_
"Now," says Dr. P. St. C. Smith, as he dumped himself and baggage down
in the beautiful city of Chicago, "Now I'll be out of the range of the
duns; they won't get sight or hearing of me, for a while, I'll bet a
hat!"
But, alas! for the delusion; the very next morning, a very suspicious,
hatchet-faced individual, made himself known as the deputed collector of
certain newspaper accounts, forwarded from Boston, by Peabody, Grab,
Catchem, & Co. The Dr. uttered a very severe _anathema_; he looked quite
streaked, he faltered; he then desired the collector to call in course
of the day, and the bill would be attended to. The collector hoped it
would be attended to, and left; so did Dr. P. St. C. Smith _in the next
mail line_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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