The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day ScenesFalconbridge
General
The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day Scenes
Falconbridge
American wit and humor
Scientific Labor.
"Bob, what yer doing now?"
"Aiding Nat'ral History."
"Aiding Nat'ral History--what do yer mean by that?"
"Why every time the kangaroo jumps over the monkey, I hold his tail
up."
Who was that Poor Woman?
I do not know a feminine--from the piney woods of Maine to the
Neuces--so given to popularity, newspaper philippics, and city item
bombards, as Aunt Nabby Folsom, of the town of Boston. The name and
doings of Aunt Nabby are linked with nearly all popular cabals in
Faneuil Hall, the "Temple," "Chapel," or Melodeon--from funeral orations
to political caucusses--Temperance jubilees to Abolition flare ups; for
Aunt Nabby never allows _wind_, weather or subject, time, place or
occasion, to prevent her "full attendance." The police, and over-zealous
auditors, at times _snake her down_ or crowd her old straw bonnet, but
Aunt Nabby is always sure of the polite attention of the "Reporters,"
and shines in their notes, big as the biggest toad in the puddle.
Indeed, Aunt Nabby is one of 'em!--a perfect she-male Mike Walsh. She
will have her _say_, though a legion of constables stood at the door;
her principal _stand-point_ is the freedom of speech and woman's rights,
and she goes in tooth and nail _agin law_, Marshal Tukey, and the entire
race-root and rind of the Quincys--particularly strong! Aunt Nabby is
subject to a series, too tedious to mention, of "sells" by the _quid
nuncs_ and rapscallions of the day, and one of these "sells" is the pith
of my present paper.
It so fell out, when Jenny Lind arrived here, about every fool within
five-and-fifty miles ran their heels and brazen faces after the
Nightingale and her carriage wherever she went, from her bed-chamber to
her dinner table, from her drawing-room to the Concert Hall. It took
Barnum and his whole "private secretary" force and equal number of
policemen and servants, besides Stephens himself, of the Revere, and his
bar-keeper, to keep the mob from rushing pell-mell up stairs and
surrounding Jenny as Paddy did the Hessians.
Now and then a desperate fellow got in--had an audience, grinned, backed
down and went his way, tickled as a dog with two tails. Others were
victimized by notes from Barnum (!) or Miss Lind's "private secretary,"
offering an interview, and many of these transactions were "rich and
racy" enough, in all conscience, for the pages of a modern Joe Miller.
But Aunt Nabby Folsom's time was about as rich as the raciest, and will
bear rehearsing--easy.
"Good morning, sir," said a pleasing-looking, neatly-dressed, elderly
lady, to the two scant yards of starch and dickey behind Stephens' slab
of marble at the Revere.
"Good morning, ma'am," responded the _clark_, who, not knowing exactly
who the lady was, _jerked_ down his well-oiled and brushed "wig and
whiskers" to the entire satisfaction of the matronly lady, who went on
to say--
"I wish to see Miss Lind, sir."
"Guess she's engaged, ma'am."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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