"Well, yes, I'll tell you, boys. You see, Ben. McConachy owned this dog; set up, Barney--look at his ears, boys--great, ain't they? Well, Ben's wife was mean--meaner than pizen. She hated this dog; she hated any thing that _et_; she considered any body, except her and her daughter (a pizen ugly gal), that et three pieces of bread and two cups of coffee at a meal, _awful!_" "Blow the old woman; tell us about the _dog_, poppy," said they. "Now, I'm coming to the pint--but, Lord! boys, I never was so dry in my life. I am dry--plaguy dry," said the old one. "Well, daddy, step up and take something; come," said the dog men; "now let her slide. How about the _dog?_" "Ah-h-h-h! that's great sperrets, boys. Mister (to the bar-keeper), I don't find such sperrets as that _often_. Well, boys, as you're anxious to hear about the dog, I'll tell you all about him. You see, the old woman and Ben. was allers spatten 'bout one thing or t'other, and 'specially about this dog. So one day Ben. McConachy hears a feller wanted to buy a good dog, down to the _drove yard_, and he takes Barney--stand up, Barney--see that, boys; how quick he minds! Great dog, he is. Well, Ben. takes Barney, and down he goes to the _drove yard_. He met the feller; the feller looked at the dog; he saw Barney _was_ a dog--he looked at him, asked how old he was; if that was all the dog Ben. owned, and he seemed to like the dog--but, boys, I'm gittin' dry--_rotted dry_--" "Go on, tell us all about the dog, then we'll drink," says the boys. "'Well,' says Ben. McConachy to the feller, 'now, make us an offer for him.' Now, what do you suppose, boys, that feller's first offer was?" The boys couldn't guess it; they guessed and guessed; some one price, some another, all the way from five to fifty dollars--the old fellow continuing to say "No," until they gave it up. "Well, boys, I'll tell you--that feller, after looking and looking at Ben. McConachy's dog, tail to snout, half an hour--_didn't offer a red cent for him!_ Ben. come home in disgust and give the dog to me--there he is. Now, boys, we'll have that sperrets." But on looking around, the boys had cut the pit--_mizzled!_ The Perils of Wealth