The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day ScenesFalconbridge
General
The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day Scenes
Falconbridge
American wit and humor
At first, the job he had undertaken proved almost too much for Lev
Smith's constitution, but the great object in view consoled him, and the
more he saw of the old man's meanness, the more and more he took it for
granted that his uncle had necessarily hoarded up treasure; but, after
three years' drudgery, Lev's courage was on the point of breaking down;
the only stay left seemed the fact that now he had served so long a
time, so patiently and lovingly, and the old man apparently upon his
very last legs--it seemed a ruthless waste of his golden dreams to give
out, so he made up his mind to--wait a little longer. Another year
rolled on; Uncle Gunter got indeed low, and the lower he got the more
assiduous got nephew Smith, and even the neighbors wondered how a young
man _could_ stick on, and put up with such a miserly, mean, selfish and
penurious old curmudgeon as old Joe Gunter. Gunter himself was apprized
of the great indulgence and wonderful patience of his nephew, and not
unfrequently said, in a groaning voice:
"Ah, my dear Levi, you're a good boy; I wish to the Lord it was in your
poor, miserable, wretched old uncle's distressed power to--"
"Never mind, never mind, Uncle Joe," Lev would most deceitfully respond;
"I ask nothing for myself; what I do, I _do_ willingly!"
"I know, I know you do, poor boy, but your poor, old, miserable,
wretched uncle don't deserve it."
"Don't mind that, dear uncle," says Lev. "It's my duty, and I'll do it."
"Good boy, good boy; your poor, old, miserable uncle will be
grateful--we'll see."
"I know that--I feel sure he will, dear Uncle Joe--and that's enough,
_all_ I ask."
"And if he don't--poor, miserable old creature,--if he don't pay you,
the Lord will, Levi!"
"And that will be all that's needed, Uncle Joe," says the humbugging
nephew. And so they went, Lev not only waiting on the old man with the
tender and faithful care of a good Samaritan, but out of his own slender
resources ministering to the old man's especial comfort in many ways and
matters which Uncle Joe would have seen him hanged and quartered before
he would in a like manner done likewise. But the end came--the old
fellow held on toughly; he never died until Lev's patience, hope and
slender income were quite threadbare; so he at last went off the
handle--Lev buried him and mourned the dispensation in true Kilkenny
fashion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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