"'Squire," says the Doctor, "jump in with me, and go back to the Captain's and assist me to back out, beg the pardon of Miss Figgles and her father, and terminate this unpleasant farce." The magistrate-farmer got into the Doctor's gig, and soon they were at Capt. Figgles's door. "Captain," says the Doctor, "I don't know what excuse I _can_ offer for the fool I've made of myself, through that puppy, Capt. Tiller, but, sir----" "Look a-here!" says the Captain, staring the Doctor broad in the face, "I've got wind of the whole affair; now ease off your palaver. You've married my daughter Betsy, in a joke; she's fit for the wife of a Commodore, and all I've got to say is, if you want her, take her; if you don't want her, you're a fool, and ought to be made a powder-monkey for the rest of your natural life." "But the lady's will and wishes have not been consulted, sir." "Betsy!" cries the old Captain, "come here. What say you--are you willing to remain spliced with the Doctor, or not? Hold up your head, my gal--speak out!" "Yes--_I'm agreed, if he is_," said she. "Well said, hurrah!" cries the Captain. "Now, sir (to the Doctor), to make all right and tight, I here give you, in presence of the 'Squire, my favorite daughter Betsy, and one of the best farms in the State of New York. Are you satisfied, Doctor?" "Captain, I am. I shall try, sir, to make your daughter a happy woman!" returned the Doctor, and he did; he became the founder of a large family, and one of the wealthiest men in the State. Rather pleased, finally, with the _joke_, the Doctor managed to turn it upon the Captain, who in due course of law was arrested upon the charge of illegally personating a parson, and marrying a couple without a license! He was fined fifty dollars and costs; and of course was thus caused to laugh on the wrong side of his mouth. Appearances are Deceitful.