The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day ScenesFalconbridge
General
The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day Scenes
Falconbridge
American wit and humor
General Lowndes, in starting for Philadelphia, was recommended by his
friend Pinckney, to put up at Mistress Hall's; General P. giving General
Lowndes a letter of introduction to that lady. Travelling was a slow and
tedious, as well as fatiguing and dirty operation, at that day, so that
after a journey from Charleston to Philadelphia, even a man with some
pretensions to dress and respectable _contour_, would be apt to look a
little "mussy;" but for the poor General's part, he looked hard enough,
in all conscience, and had he known the _effect_ such an appearance was
likely to produce upon Mistress Hall, he would not have had the
temerity of invading her premises. But the General's views were far
above "buttons," leather, and prunella. Such a thing as paying
deferential courtesies to a man's garments, was something not dreamed of
in his philosophy.
"Mrs. Hall's, I believe?" said the General, to a servant answering the
ponderous, lion-headed knocker.
"Yes, sah," responded the sable waiter. "Walk dis way, sah, into de
parlor, sah."
The General stalked in, leisurely; around the fire-place were seated a
dozen of the boarders, the aforesaid "big bugs" of the olden time. Not
one moved to offer the stranger a seat by the fire, although his warm
Southern blood was pretty well congealed by the frosty air of the
evening. The General pulled off his gloves, laid down his great heavy
and dusty valice, and quietly took a remote seat to await the presence
of the landlady. She came, lofty and imposing; coming into the parlor,
with her astute cap upon her majestic head, her gold spectacles upon her
nose, as stately as a stage queen!
"Good evening," said the gallant General, rising and making a very
polite bow. "Mrs. Hall, I presume?"
"Yes, sir," she responded, stiffly, and eyeing Lowndes with considerable
diffidence. "Any business with me, sir?"
"Yes, madam," responded the General, "I--a--purpose remaining in the
city some time, and--a--I shall be pleased to put up with you."
"That's impossible, sir," was the ready and decisive reply. "My house is
full; I cannot accommodate you."
"Well, really, that _will_ be a disappointment, indeed," said the
General, "for I'm quite a stranger in the city, and may find it
difficult to procure permanent lodgings."
"I presume not, sir," said she; "there are _taverns_ enough, where
strangers are entertained."
The gentlemen around the fire, never offered to tender the stranger any
information upon the subject, but several eyed him very hard, and
doubtless felt pleased to see the discomfitted and ill-accoutred
traveller seize his baggage, adjust his dusty coat, and start out, which
_he_ was evidently very loth to do.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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