The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day ScenesFalconbridge
General
The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day Scenes
Falconbridge
American wit and humor
The negroes now fairly beset our victimized friend Phipps; he stopped,
buttoned his coat, the negroes augmented; glared at him like demons; he
fixed his hat firmly upon his head; the negroes began to grin and move
upon him; he spat upon his hands; the negroes began to yell, and to
close in upon him; with one grand effort, one mighty gathering of all
the human faculties called into action by fear and desperation, Phipps
bounded like a Louisiana bull at a gate post; he knocked down two,
_square_; kicked over four, and rushing through the now very
considerable and formidable array of ebony, he _broke_ equal to a wild
turkey through a corn bottom, or a sharp knife through a pound of milky
butter; and it is very questionable whether Phipps ever stopped running
until his boots _busted_, or he reached his bucket factory on Taunton
river. His negro deputation _waited on him_ with a rush clear outside of
town, where the speed and bottom of Abner distanced the entire
committee. The key to this joke is: Phipps was dogged from Tafts'--by
the "vigilant committee," as an informer, or slave-hunter at least, and
hence the delicate attentions of the col'ud pop'lation paid him. I have
no doubt, that if Abner Phipps be asked, how things look around Boston,
he would observe with some energy,
"Niggers--niggers are thick--Godfree! _a-a-a-in't they thick!_"
A Desperate Race.
Some years ago, I was one of a convivial party, that met in the
principal hotel in the town of Columbus, Ohio, the seat of government of
the Buckeye State.
It was a winter evening when all without was bleak and stormy, and all
within were blythe and gay; when song and story made the circuit of the
festive board, filling up the chasms of life with mirth and laughter.
We had met for the express purpose of making a night of it, and the
pious intention was duly and most religiously carried out. The
Legislature was in session in that town, and not a few of the worthy
legislators were present upon this occasion.
One of these worthies I will name, as he not only took a big swath in
the evening's entertainment, but he was a man _more_ generally known
than our worthy President, James K. Polk. That man was the famous
Captain Riley! whose "narrative" of suffering and adventures is pretty
generally known, all over the civilized world. Captain Riley was a fine,
fat, good-humored joker, who at the period of my story was the
representative of the Dayton district, and lived near that little city
when at home. Well, Captain Riley had amused the company with many of
his far-famed and singular adventures, which being mostly told before
and read by millions of people, that have ever seen his book, I will not
attempt to repeat them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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