The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day ScenesFalconbridge
General
The Humors of Falconbridge: A Collection of Humorous and Every Day Scenes
Falconbridge
American wit and humor
Many were the stories and adventures told by the company, when it came
to the turn of a well known gentleman who represented the Cincinnati
district. As Mr. ---- is yet among the living, and perhaps not disposed
to be the subject of joke or story, I do not feel at liberty to give
his name. Mr. ---- was a slow believer of other men's adventures, and at
the same time much disposed to magnify himself into a marvellous hero
whenever the opportunity offered. As Captain Riley wound up one of his
truthful, though really marvellous adventures, Mr. ---- coolly remarked,
that the captain's story was all very _well_, but it did not begin to
compare with an adventure that he had "once upon a time" on the Ohio,
below the present city of Cincinnati.
"Let's have it!" "Let's have it!" resounded from all hands.
"Well, gentlemen," said the Senator, clearing his voice for action and
knocking the ashes from his cigar against the arm of his chair.
"Gentlemen, I am not in the habit of spinning yarns of marvellous or
fictitious matters; and therefore it is scarcely necessary to affirm
upon the responsibility of my reputation, gentlemen, that what I am
about to tell you, I most solemnly proclaim to be truth, and--"
"Oh! never mind that, go on, Mr. ----," chimed the party.
"Well, gentlemen, in 18-- I came down the Ohio river, and settled at
Losanti, now called Cincinnati. It was, at that time, but a little
settlement of some twenty or thirty log and frame cabins, and where now
stands the Broadway Hotel and blocks of stores and dwelling houses, was
the cottage and corn patch of old Mr. ----, a tailor, who, by the by,
bought that land for the making of a coat for one of the settlers. Well,
I put up my cabin, with the aid of my neighbors, and put in a patch of
corn and potatoes, about where the Fly Market now stands, and set about
improving my lot, house, &c.
"Occasionally, I took up my rifle, and started off with my dog down the
river, to look up a little deer, or _bar_ meat, then very plenty along
the river. The blasted red skins were lurking about, and hovering
around the settlement, and every once in a while picked off some of our
neighbors, or stole our cattle or horses. I hated the red demons, and
made no bones of peppering the blasted sarpents whenever I got a sight
at them. In fact, the red rascals had a dread of me, and had laid a
great many traps to get my scalp, but I wasn't to be catch'd napping.
No, no, gentlemen, I was too well up to 'em for that.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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