Conducted to the dining-room, Capt. Fussy's eyes stretch at the wholesale display of table-cloths, arm-chairs, "crockery" and cutlery, mirrors and white-aproned waiters. A seat is offered him, he dumps himself down, amazed but determined to look and act like one used to these affairs, from the hour of his birth! "I ordered hot steak, poached eggs--hain't you got 'em?" "Certainly, sir!" says the waiter, and the steak and eggs are at hand. "Coffee or tea, sir?" another servant inquires. "Coffee and tea! Humph, I ordered chocolate--hain't you got chocolate?" "Oh, yes, sir; there it is." "_Ah_, umph!" and Fussy gazes around and turns his nose slightly up, at the whole concern, waiters, guests, table, steak, eggs, chocolate, and--even the tempting hot rolls--before him. Fussy calls for a glass of water, wants to know if there's fried oysters on the table; he finds there is not, and Fussy frowns and asks for a lobster salad, which the waiter informs him is never used at supper, in that hotel. Eventually, Capt. Fussy being _crammed_, after an hour's diligent feeding, fuss and feathers, retires, asks all sorts of questions about people and places, at the _office_; what time trains start and steamers come, omnibuses here and stages there, all of which he is politely answered, of course, and he finally goes to his room, rings his bell every ten minutes, for an hour, and then--goes to bed; next day puts the servants and clerks over another course, and on the third day--calls for his bill, finds but few extras charged, hands over a _five_, puts on his gloves, seizes his valise, looks savagely dignified and stalks out, big as two military officers in regimentals! "_Ah_," says Fussy, as he reaches the street, "_I_ put 'em through--_I guess I got the worth of my money!_" We calculate he did! "According to Gunter." Old Gunter was going home t'other night with a very heavy "turkey on"--about a forty-four pounder. Gunter accused the pavements of being icy, and down he came--_kerchug!_ A "young lady" coming along, fidgetting and finiking, she made a very sudden and opposite _ricochet_, on seeing Gunter feeling the ground, and making abortive attempts to "riz." Gunter's gallantry was "up;" he knew his own weakness, and saw the difficulty with the "young lady;" so making a very determinate effort to get on his pins, Gunter elevated his head and then his voice, and says he: "My de-dea-dear ma'm, do-do-don't pu-pu-put yourself out of th-th-the way, on my account!" Tableaux--"young lady" quick-step, and Gunter playing all-fours in the _mud!_ Quartering upon Friends. City-bred people have a pious horror of the country in winter, and no great regard for country visitors at any time, however much they may "let on" to the contrary.