The Humour and Pathos of Anglo-Indian Life: Extracts from his brother's note-book, made by Dr. TicklemoreMayer, J. E.
General
The Humour and Pathos of Anglo-Indian Life: Extracts from his brother's note-book, made by Dr. Ticklemore
Mayer, J. E.
British -- India; India -- Social life and customs
Instances of this love of dictation, and the determination to lay down
the law on all subjects, whether military or not, were constantly
occurring, not seldom to the discredit of the General's scholarship. One
day he downfaced young Arnold on a point on which the 'sub' was far
ahead of him. The youngster was saying something about platinum to some
of the other young lads, who, though they may have been well up in
Euclid, and in fortifications, and could give you back accurately all
that they had learned about 'momentum, velocity, and the square of
distances whether inverse or not,' were not quite so well up in physics
or chemical analysis. In reply to one of these young gentlemen who had
been asking questions about platinum, Arnold stated that it was an
elementary substance, adding that it was one of the sixty-three such
substances.
'Hulloa!' cried the General. 'What's that you say, Arnold--sixty-three
elements? I fancy your elementary education has been rather neglected,
my lad. Don't you know, having so lately come from school, that there
are only four elements--air, earth, fire, and water? Why, they knew that
as far back as the days of Aristotle!'
Poor Arnold, not knowing the General's ways (he had only just joined),
unconsciously replied: 'They don't teach that nowadays, General.' One of
the young men who had been at Sandhurst with him whispered Arnold not to
say anything; but he, knowing no reason why he should be silent, replied
as I have stated, and thereby drew on himself the extreme anger and
indignation of the General. 'Do you mean seriously to tell me that, sir?
Do you mean to say that the small men of these days pretend to be wiser
than Sir Isaac Newton, the greatest philosopher the world ever produced?
He never said that there were sixty-three elements, and you, a youth not
twenty, just free from the pedagogue's ferula--you pretend to be wiser
than that great man, and all your seniors beside.'
Arnold was going to say something, when luckily the General stopped him
with a violent gesture and angry visage, saying: 'Go home, sir, and if
you learn nothing else, learn a little respect for your superiors.' Poor
Arnold was kindly hustled out of the mess-house where this little
episode occurred, lest, as one of his friends from the Land of Cakes
said, 'waur should come of it.'
The General seemed to be partial to Aristotle and his philosophy,
although he was not able to read the easiest class-book in the original
language. He had, however, made acquaintance with the famous old Greek
through the medium of translations, and was ever ready to do battle in
his defence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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