The Humour and Pathos of Anglo-Indian Life: Extracts from his brother's note-book, made by Dr. TicklemoreMayer, J. E.
General
The Humour and Pathos of Anglo-Indian Life: Extracts from his brother's note-book, made by Dr. Ticklemore
Mayer, J. E.
British -- India; India -- Social life and customs
How long the siege might have endured it is impossible to say, had not
the Koorg War unexpectedly put an end to it. Colonel L. was placed in
command of the column that was to penetrate the Koorg country by Stony
River, and therefore was shortly obliged to surrender to Colonel Burton
his staff appointment as the commandant of the cantonment. Before he did
so, however, Mrs. G. was seen at the band-stand, her coachman, her
ghari-wallahs or grooms, and her horses, all decked out with large blue
rosettes on their heads and turbans.
'Dear me, what is all this finery for?' said Miss Brown. 'Oh, I know.
Mrs. G. is rejoicing that Colonel L. is going to Koorg.'
'Quite wrong,' said Mrs. G., who overheard her. 'It is on account of a
matter of infinitely more importance to me. I have been awarded,
independent of costs which will have to be paid as well, 5,000 Rs., as
a compensation for the injuries I have sustained (so they put it). Now,
isn't it good to get one's roof repaired for nothing, and then to get
5,000 Rs as a present into the bargain--isn't it good? So good that I
could not help celebrating my victory and good fortune by a little
outward display, as you see.'
By this time there was quite a crowd round Mrs. G.'s carriage, laughing,
rejoicing, and complimenting her upon her success. 'But what will you
do, Mrs. G.,' said Gunthorpe, 'if the new commandant takes up the
cudgels, and continues the unroofing business?'
'Oh,' returned Mrs. G., 'if he should be so very kind as to give me
another opportunity of making another 5,000 Rs. I shall not object, I
shall renew my conversation with the stars with unfeigned pleasure.'
After this flourish of trumpets, and cheers from the ladies and
uproarious laughter from the gentlemen, the old lady departed to take
her accustomed drive round the racecourse.
It is almost needless to say that Colonel Burton declined to continue
the war; and thus terminated this famous 'passage of arms,' second only
in interest to that of Ashby de la Zouch, recorded in 'Ivanhoe,' Mrs. G.
having literally had her roof repaired for her for nothing, and having
had a present of 5,000 Rs. on account of the proceeding.
It is said that the heroine, after her signal success, dropped her old
coat-of-arms, substituting for her former crest a hen standing over two
prostrate dunghill cocks, and for the three mullets on the face of the
shield, several men thatching the roof of a house; finally, for
supporters, she had a brigadier and a staff-officer. In place of her old
motto, she had, 'I strive and thrive.'
On being asked why, being only Mrs. General G., she assumed supporters,
she replied, 'My husband's family are lineally descended from the King
of Munster, so you perceive I am entitled to have supporters.' 'Well,'
replied the inquirer, 'you certainly found numerous and able supporters,
whether descended from the King of Munster or not.' 'Oh, fie!' said Mrs.
G., 'to try and throw a doubt on the validity of my supporters. Fie!
fie!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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