'There is a great deal to be said, Charlotte, on both sides; but tell me why ladies who have no fortunes to make, and whose election for weal or woe has been made years ago, continue to dress and dance, etc., just as they used to do when they were unmarried? Explain, if you please, the cause of these little performances before you utterly condemn the poor flies that are attracted by such Circean artifices.' 'Oh, William, I'm ashamed of you! You would go about to excuse the premeditated wickedness of men by trying to make out that the women are in fault in the first instance. I'm ashamed of you.' 'Ah, ma chère,' replied her husband, still laughing, 'however ingenious an attack may be as a defence, you have, in your ardour to defend your sex, forgotten to explain the spring of the _petits soin de toilette_ that I referred to.' 'What nonsense you talk!' replied the lady. 'Are ladies utterly to neglect themselves, and to appear as slatterns and slovens, merely because their husbands are away?' 'I see,' said her husband, 'that it matters nothing whether menkind have the right on their side or not; womenkind ever have the best of it with their tongues.' 'It is nothing of the kind,' said the lady; 'we have the best of it because we're in the right and you are not.' 'That's a pretty flourish, Charlotte, but it will hardly account for the impression made on the whole cantonment; and if my memory does not entirely mislead me, I think I can remember that but the day before yesterday a certain vivacious, voluble little friend of mine' ('I'll pinch you, William') 'said that the "deserted wives did not at least mourn in sackcloth and ashes." Didn't that little friend of mine say something to that effect?' said her husband, laughing so much that he could scarcely speak. 'Oh, you're a horrid fellow, and can remember anything you please, whether it was ever spoken or not.' 'Oh, Charly, Charly! you must be in a difficulty when you make such a dreadful charge as that, and, by innuendo, imply a doubt as to whether you ever spoke the words or not.' 'You've become a dreadful talker, William, and run into the greatest extravagance when you've nothing to the point to say; but pray recall your faculties. Here comes young Johnson, who joined us but the other day.' After the usual salutations to the lady and gentleman, the young ensign said: 'Oh, Mrs. D., there's such fun going on, that I must tell you of it.' 'Pray do,' said the lady. 'Just sit where you are and keep your eyes open; in a few minutes you'll have Major B., in a handsome drag drawn by a pair of bays, with Mrs. W. by his side, drive by. Not to make the thing too particular, the old fox has got Mrs. Flower and my chum, Hopkins, in the back seat; but it would do your heart good to hear how strong the Major is coming it with the lady by his side. I must say he's a man of metal, for every time he has out that same drag and bays, it costs him 25 Rs.; old Brasher charges no less.'