The Humour and Pathos of Anglo-Indian Life: Extracts from his brother's note-book, made by Dr. TicklemoreMayer, J. E.
General
The Humour and Pathos of Anglo-Indian Life: Extracts from his brother's note-book, made by Dr. Ticklemore
Mayer, J. E.
British -- India; India -- Social life and customs
'Oh, I can and do mean it most positively,' said Mrs. W., laughing in a
most provoking way. 'I have ordered a set of bearers, and a masulchi,
and shall be off by three o'clock--not five o'clock--in the morning.'
'That's too cruel of you, Mrs. W.; and to remind me of that sweet song I
used to delight in hearing you sing.'
'Oh, I shall come back by-and-by, and then I'll sing it for you again,'
replied Mrs. W., with a wicked smile that made all who saw and heard
her, except the disconsolate Major, laugh outright.
'Ah,' said he, 'if I ever do hear you sing it again, it won't be the
same song it was before to me.'
'And why not?' said the relentless Mrs. W., scarcely able to utter the
words from suppressed laughter, which seemed also to have seized Mrs.
D., Captain D., and the two younger fellows, Johnson and Hopkins. But
the Major, indifferent to everything but his grief, only said: 'Well,
Mrs. W., I will have a cavady cooly and the boxes filled with European
articles got ready for your journey, and you must not deny me the
melancholy pleasure of seeing you off, and saying farewell to you.'
Mrs. W., after a little struggle to overcome the former tendency, said:
'On no account would I hear of such a thing, Major. I'll wish you
good-bye to-morrow evening, and as to the boxes, don't think of it. I
have supplies of everything I can want on the road. Besides, I should
have no means to carry them. I travel dawk.'
'Oh, well,' said the Major, 'I'll see to all that; and don't suppose
that I shall let you leave Bangalore without being up to see you off, at
whatever hour it may be.'
'Well, Major B., I can't prevent you from doing what you say you will
do, but I certainly think you'd be much better in bed.'
As the band began to play the National Anthem, the carriages began to
move off, but the two young men stayed behind to talk over the scene
they had just taken part in. They ordered their horsekeepers to take
their bays home, and then leisurely walked on to the mess-room,
indulging, as they sauntered along, in repeated bursts of laughter.
Johnson, who first recovered himself, said, turning to his friend: 'Now,
can you fancy that anyone could be so blind as our worthy, the Major?
The old fogey, in his latter days, has become so amorous, so demented,
about Mrs. W., that he can't help making love to her before everybody.'
'That's plain enough, and patent to everyone who has got eyes and ears,'
returned Hopkins. 'And to see how she treats him! Upon my soul, it's the
finest fun I've had since I've been here,' remarked Johnson.
'Why,' returned Hopkins, 'she laughs at him so openly that if he were
not what he is, he must see it.'
'But he don't,' said Johnson, 'that is the best of it--he don't, and
goes on worshipping, and never minding, in a way that's unlike anything
I ever saw before. I won't say "more majorum," for that would be a libel
on all other majors.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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