“How proud I was an hour ago; how paltry seems my little promotion now! Colonel, the reason I came to Washington is—I am Congressional Delegate from Cherokee Strip!” The Colonel sprang to his feet and broke out with prodigious enthusiasm— “Give me your hand, my boy—this is immense news! I congratulate you with all my heart. My prophecies stand confirmed. I always said it was in you. I always said you were born for high distinction and would achieve it. You ask Polly if I didn’t.” Washington was dazed by this most unexpected demonstration. “Why, Colonel, there’s nothing _to_ it. That little, narrow, desolate, unpeopled, oblong streak of grass and gravel, lost in the remote wastes of the vast continent—why, it’s like representing a billiard table—a discarded one.” “Tut-tut, it’s a great, it’s a staving preferment, and just opulent with influence here.” “Shucks, Colonel, I haven’t even a vote.” “That’s nothing, you can make speeches.” “No, I can’t. The population only two hundred——” “That’s all right, that’s all right——” “And they hadn’t any right to elect me; we’re not even a territory, there’s no Organic Act, the government hasn’t any official knowledge of us whatever.” “Never mind about that; I’ll fix that. I’ll rush the thing through, I’ll get you organised in no time.” “_Will_ you, Colonel?—it’s _too_ good of you; but it’s just your old sterling self, the same old, ever-faithful friend,” and the grateful tears welled up in Washington’s eyes. “It’s just as good as done, my boy, just as good as done. Shake hands. We’ll hitch teams together, you and I, and we’ll make things hum!” _Samuel L. Clemens_ (“_Mark Twain_”). ------------------------------------------------------------------------ _THE OWL-CRITIC._ A LESSON TO FAULT-FINDERS. “WHO stuffed that white owl?” No one spoke in the shop: The barber was busy, and he couldn’t stop; The customers, waiting their turns, were all reading The _Daily_, the _Herald_, the _Post_, little heeding. The young man who blurted out such a blunt question; Not one raised a head, or even made a suggestion; And the barber kept on shaving.