“Be all the powers, sur, it’s surely not running through your hid that the Goiant’s Causeway was built by the hand av man, sur!” “How was it built, then? By contract?” “Oi see plainly Oi’ll hay to begin at the beginnin’ wid you, sur. It was built by a mighty convulsion av nathure, sur.” “Oh, yes, I remember reading about it in the papers at the time. It was the beginning of the Irish troubles.” “It was at the beginning av toime, sur. Professor Gneiss, av Edinburgh, tould me its origin was volcanic, and that——” “Oh, you can’t believe what a professor says. Was _he_ there?” “He was not.” “Well, then!” “If you, sur, will excuse the liberty Oi’ll take, sur, in recommending you to kape silence fur a few minutes, sur, ye’ll know a good dale more whin ye lave here than ye did whin ye came, sur.” “All right; go ahead.” “These columns, sur, are basaltic.” “What’s that?” “It’s a term used by Professor Gneiss. Now Oi’ll call ye’r attention to the ind av this column. That we call octagon, meaning eight-sided, as ye can see. And if yer measure the eight sides, sur, yer’ll foind them the same to a hair’s breadth.” “And yet you say nobody chiselled it?” “Oi do, sur.” “You evidently think I’ll believe anything. But no matter. Go on, go on.” “Now, if ye’ll notice, around this octagon are eight other pillars, forming an octagon group, as we call thim here, sur, all the columns being aqual in size. Now, sur, if ye follow me here, ye will see a septagon column, from the Latin word maning siven, and around that there are siven columns.” “Is there any sixtogon one?” “There is not, sur.” “It’s a sort of seven-by-eight Causeway then?” “There, sur, Oi tould ye ye would slip down, sur. A man broke his leg there once. Are ye hurt, sur?” “Not in the least.” “Thank the powers for that, sur! Oi always notice that the quieter a man kapes, the more attention he can pay to his futin’.” “And you’re paid to do the talking, too. I hadn’t thought about that.” “Now, sur, ye see from here the Great Causeway. Isn’t that a grand soight, sur?” “Well, that depends on what you call a——” “Oh! tare an’ ’owns, sur, ye’ve kilt yerself entoirely this toime. Don’t attempt to roise, sur, till Oi get down to ye. Dear! dear!! Are ye badly hurt, sur?” [Illustration: “‘DON’T ATTEMPT TO ROISE, SUR, TILL OI GET DOWN TO YE.’”] “Groggy, but still in the ring. Say, are my trousers——” “They _are_ torn a little, sur, Oi regret to say.” “Why the Old Harry didn’t you tell me this place was so slippery? Do you want to break a man’s neck over this Causeway of yours?” “Sure, sur, Oi warned ye the very first afgo. Beggin’ your pardon, sur, if ye’d pay as much attintion to ye’r fut as you do to your tongue——” “Who’s been doing all the talking? Have I opened my mouth since we started? Well, now that we’re down here, what’s there to see?”