The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
General
The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
American wit and humor
Nor was the weather any better in the foothills.
The mud lay deep on the mountain road; waggons that neither physical
force nor moral objurgation could move from the evil ways into which
they had fallen, encumbered the track, and the way to Simpson’s Bar was
indicated by broken-down teams and hard swearing.
And farther on, cut-off and inaccessible, rained upon and bedraggled,
smitten by high winds and threatened by high water, Simpson’s Bar, on
the eve of Christmas Day, 1862, clung like a swallow’s nest to the rocky
entablature and splintered capitals of Table Mountain, and shook in the
blast.
As night shut down on the settlement, a few lights gleamed through the
mist from the windows of cabins on either side of the highway now
crossed and gullied by lawless streams and swept by marauding winds.
Happily most of the population were gathered at Thompson’s store,
clustered around a red-hot stove, at which they silently spat in some
accepted sense of social communion that perhaps rendered conversation
unnecessary.
Indeed most methods of diversion had long since been exhausted on
Simpson’s Bar; high water had suspended the regular occupations on gulch
and on river, and a consequent lack of money and whisky had taken the
zest from most illegitimate recreation.
Even Mr. Hamlin was fain to leave the Bar with fifty dollars in his
pocket—the only amount actually realised of the large sums won by him in
the successful exercise of his arduous profession.
“Ef I was asked,” he remarked somewhat later—“ef I was asked to pint out
a purty little village where a retired sport as didn’t care for money
could exercise hisself frequent and lively, I’d say Simpson’s Bar; but
for a young man with a large family depending on his exertions, it don’t
pay.”
As Mr. Hamlin’s family consisted mainly of female adults, this remark is
quoted rather to show the breadth of his humour than the exact extent of
his responsibilities.
Howbeit, the unconscious objects of this satire sat that evening in the
listless apathy begotten of idleness and lack of excitement.
Even the sudden splashing of hoofs before the door did not arouse them.
Dick Bullen alone paused in the act of scraping out his pipe, and lifted
his head; but no other one of the group indicated any interest in, or
recognition of, the man who entered.
It was a figure familiar enough to the company, and known in Simpson’s
Bar as “The Old Man.”
A man of perhaps fifty years, grizzled and scant of hair, but still
fresh and youthful of complexion. A face full of ready, but not very
powerful sympathy, with a chameleon-like aptitude for taking on the
shade and colour of contiguous moods and feelings.
He had evidently just left some hilarious companions, and did not at
first notice the gravity of the group, but clapped the shoulder of the
nearest man jocularly, and threw himself into a vacant chair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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