The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
General
The Humour of America: Selected, with an Introduction and Index of American Humorists
American wit and humor
I was lonely and listless, and wanted amusement. My room soon became
insupportable. I abandoned it and sought what is technically called the
traveller’s room. This is a public room set apart at most inns for the
accommodation of a class of wayfarers called travellers or riders; a
kind of commercial knights-errant who are incessantly scouring the
kingdom in gigs, on horseback, or by coach. They are the only
successors, that I know of at the present day, to the knights-errant of
yore. They lead the same kind of roving, adventurous life, only changing
the lance for a whip, the buckler for a pattern-card, and the coat of
mail for an upper Benjamin. Instead of vindicating the charms of
peerless beauty, they rove about spreading the fame and standing of some
substantial tradesman or manufacturer, and are ready at any time to
bargain in his name; it being the fashion nowadays to trade instead of
fight with one another. As the room of the Hostel, in the good old
fighting times, would be hung round at night with the armour of wayworn
warriors, such as coats of mail, falchions, and yawning helmets; so the
traveller’s room is garnished with the harnessing of their successors;
with box-coats, whips of all kinds, spurs, gaiters, and oilcloth-covered
hats.
I was in hopes of finding some of these worthies to talk with, but was
disappointed, there were, indeed, two or three in the room, but I could
make nothing of them. One was just finishing his breakfast, quarrelling
with his bread and butter, and huffing the waiter; another buttoned on a
pair of gaiters, with many execrations at “Boots” for not having cleaned
his shoes well; a third sat drumming on the table with his fingers, and
looking at the rain as it streamed down the window-glass; they all
appeared infected by the weather, and disappeared, one after the other,
without exchanging a word.
I sauntered to the window, and stood gazing at the people picking their
way to church, with petticoats hoisted mid-leg high, and dripping
umbrellas. The bell ceased to toll, and the streets became silent. I
then amused myself with watching the daughters of a tradesman opposite;
who, being confined to the house, for fear of wetting their Sunday
finery, played off their charms at the front windows to fascinate the
chance tenants of the inn. They at length were summoned away by a
vigilant vinegar-faced mother, and I had nothing further from without to
amuse me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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