The Pfalzgrave stood up by the rudder, And gazed on the billowy foam; “Rem blem! all my soul’s in a shudder, Oh, Cyprus--I travel for home! “God spare me such terrible menace-- I’m wiser through trial and pain; Back, back on our course to old Venice-- I’ll never borrow money again. “And he who ’mid heathens at table His cash to the devil has slammed, Let him hook it in peace while he’s able,-- It sounds like all hell and be damned!” _J. V. Scheffel._ GOD AND THE LOVER. THEN full of longing hieing, Straight I sought the Father, sighing: _O may I, may I, may I, May I love the girl?_ “You blackguard!” he outswore, “If you want your back beat sore, Then you may love the girl.” Then full of longing hieing, Straight I sought the good Priest, sighing: _O may I, may I, may I, May I love the girl?_ “My dear son, by my soul, If you seek for Hell’s deep hole, Then you may love the girl.” Then full of longing hieing, Straight I sought the Lord God, sighing: _O may I, may I, may I, May I love the girl?_ “My boy,” laughed he, “go take her: Why the devil did I make her?-- Faith, you may love the girl!” _Old German._ _UNINTENTIONAL WITTICISMS OF THE ABSENT-MINDED GERMAN PROFESSOR._ IN the day of Achilles the Greeks had no books except Homer. A panic seized the Persians at Marathon, and crying, “Lord Jesus, there are the Athenasians,” they rushed for the sea. Alexander would undoubtedly have subjugated the whole of Asia, but he will soon die. Alexander was poisoned twenty-one years before his death. The death of Alexander was felt by all Asia, but not until after his death. Demetrius was the son of his father, and had an army of 100,000 Reichsthalers. Charilaus was born very young. This is a common incident in Roman history, which, however, does not occur often. Servius came to Rome and was born there. At the battle of Cannæ the Roman army consisted of 30,000 men, 20,000 were made prisoners, 40,000 fell, and 120,000 escaped. If Cæsar had not crossed the Rubicon there is no knowing where he would have gone. Brutus and Cassius murdered Cæsar in a manner very detrimental to his health. His brother, whom he had caused to be murdered, he at last proscribed. Varus was the only Roman general who succeeded in being conquered by the Germans. Gallus was murdered in the presence of the populace, and he met the same fate once more at the hands of an assassin. Julianus first killed himself, then his father, and then himself. Tacitus says the ancient Germans were as tall as our Gardes du Corps. The Cimbers and Teutons are descended from each other. Alfons was two years old when he was born. So did King Alfons surrender the eastern part of his career. Returning from Spain, the roads were so poor that it was necessary to take eight waggons to one horse. Richard III. murdered all his successors.