“Ah, it is you, bad boy!” she said, greeting me with an absent smile; “sit down, you frivolous person, and drink some coffee. Well, what did you do yesterday? Were you at the masked ball?” “Were you? I never go ... and then I spent the evening visiting our captive.” “Who? what captive?... Ah, yes, of course! Poor fellow! Well, how is he? Very blue? By the by, I wanted to ask you ... I suppose I can claim a divorce now?” “Divorce!” I ejaculated indignantly, and nearly upset my coffee. “It’s that black-whiskered fellow,” I said to myself, inwardly fuming. There existed a certain person with black whiskers (he served in the Building Department) who had taken to visiting at the house rather too often, and who greatly amused Elyòna Ivànovna. I acknowledge that I detested him, and there could be no question that he had already contrived to see her, either here or at the masked ball, and had been talking all sorts of nonsense to her. “Well, you know,” Elyòna Ivànovna began hastily, as if she had learned her speech by heart, “very likely he’ll stop in the crocodile all his life, and never come back at all, and what’s the use of my sitting here and waiting for him? One’s husband ought to live at home, not in a crocodile!” “But then this is an unforeseen case,” I began, in very natural agitation. “No, no, no! I won’t hear anything! I don’t want to!” she cried out, suddenly firing up. “You always oppose me, you horrid wretch! There’s no doing anything with you, you never will advise one! Why, even strangers have told me that I can get a divorce now, because Ivan Matvyèich won’t get his salary.” I began to relate to her all the plans expressed by Ivan Matvyèich the day before. The idea of the evenings at home pleased her greatly. “Only I shall want heaps of new dresses,” she remarked; “and so Ivan Matvyèich must manage to send me a lot of money, and as soon as possible.... Only ... only, you know,” she added, meditatively, “how about his being brought to me in a tank? That is absurd. I don’t want my husband to be carried in a tank. I shall feel ashamed before my visitors. I don’t want that ... no, no.” “By the by, did Timofèy Semyònych call on you yesterday evening?” “Oh, yes; he came to console me, and do you know, we played at trumps all the time. When he lost, he had to give me sweets, and when I lost I had to let him kiss my hands. What a rogue he is! And do you know, he very nearly went to the masked ball with me. Really!” “He’s bewitched,” I replied; “and whom can’t you bewitch, you sorceress!” “Oh, there, if you’re going to begin with your compliments! Look here, I want to pinch you before you go. I’ve learned to pinch most frightfully. There! What do you think of that! Oh, by the by, did Ivan Matvyèich often speak of me yesterday evening?” “N—n—no, not very often ... in fact, he thinks more just now of the destinies of humanity, and wishes to——.”