“That’s just it. ‘You’re innocent,’ said they, ‘because the fisticuffing was reciprocal. You can go home.’ So we went out into the street, all the lot of us: the Mediterranean squadron, and the carpenters, and the doorkeepers, and I; and there we stood in the street, fifty or sixty of us, like so many green geese. You see, it was a bit strange; we’d been banging and slashing at each other like the biggest blackguards you could find; and here we come out as innocent as new-born babes. So there we stood on the pavement, as dumb as any stocks and stones. All of a sudden up comes that knave Rodiòn, with his cap off.” “‘I’ve come to ask your honour’s pardon.’ “‘I should just think you had, after what you’ve done, you blockhead!’ “‘Well, I don’t know, sir.... We were told to let the police know, because there was one of those papers. People like us only have to do as we are told.... Just pass it over this once, sir, and take me on again.... The Lord will reward you for it.... It’s very hard on a poor man; it all comes upon us.’ Of course as soon as Rodiòn had done, a carpenter began—‘Forget and forgive, sir....’ You know yourself the times are so bad nowadays.... What could we do, when they said to us: “Mind you watch him carefully; he’s mixed up in a bad business!” ‘Don’t take it ill, sir.’... ‘So it was you, was it, you blockhead,’ I asked, ‘that got me into trouble?’ ‘If you please, sir, it was all of us. But, if you please, sir, it seems to me that we’re pretty well quits; for you’ve got a good-sized fist of your own, and you let us know it.’—Well, as soon as the carpenter had done, the gendarmes began: ‘It was all a misunderstanding; we’re very sorry.’ So I told them: ‘It’s all very well to be sorry; but what did you give me so many bruises for?’ ‘Well,’ said one, ‘you laid my cheek open.’ And then another put in: ‘We only obeyed orders; we had a telegram.... And you knocked me down, you know.... It was nothing but a misunderstanding.... We always.... As you’re a householder we’re very sorry....’ Then it was just the same with the apothecary; Lipàtkin came up and said: ‘Let’s make it up; don’t go to law against me.’ And the clerk of the police-station began excusing himself: ‘You know what troubled times we have nowadays! If a fellow has to sit the whole day long, from morning till night, writing _Instantly_, and _Apprehend_, and _Produce_, it’s not much wonder if he makes a mistake.... Such dangerous times!’... And they all came swarming round me together: ‘Such terrible times nowadays.... If it wasn’t for the times.... We’re very.... With the utmost respect.... Nothing but a mistake.’ And bless you! _I_ understood that the blockheads only wanted to be treated all round! You see, they’d all been so very painstaking; and nobody was guilty; and yet there was no drink going! They thought I ought to have a glass with them. ‘No, no! my fine fellows,’ says I, ‘if you weren’t such a set of dunderheads and blundering asses the times