Historical fiction; Russia -- Social conditions -- 1801-1917 -- Fiction
“Do you know that I came here to see those trees?” pointing to the
trees in the park. “It is not ridiculous, is it? Say that it is not
ridiculous!” he demanded urgently of Lizabetha Prokofievna. Then he
seemed to be plunged in thought. A moment later he raised his head, and
his eyes sought for someone. He was looking for Evgenie Pavlovitch, who
was close by on his right as before, but he had forgotten this, and his
eyes ranged over the assembled company. “Ah! you have not gone!” he
said, when he caught sight of him at last. “You kept on laughing just
now, because I thought of speaking to the people from the window for a
quarter of an hour. But I am not eighteen, you know; lying on that bed,
and looking out of that window, I have thought of all sorts of things
for such a long time that... a dead man has no age, you know. I was
saying that to myself only last week, when I was awake in the night. Do
you know what you fear most? You fear our sincerity more than anything,
although you despise us! The idea crossed my mind that night... You
thought I was making fun of you just now, Lizabetha Prokofievna? No,
the idea of mockery was far from me; I only meant to praise you. Colia
told me the prince called you a child—very well—but let me see, I had
something else to say...” He covered his face with his hands and tried
to collect his thoughts.
“Ah, yes—you were going away just now, and I thought to myself: ‘I
shall never see these people again—never again! This is the last time I
shall see the trees, too. I shall see nothing after this but the red
brick wall of Meyer’s house opposite my window. Tell them about it—try
to tell them,’ I thought. ‘Here is a beautiful young girl—you are a
dead man; make them understand that. Tell them that a dead man may say
anything—and Mrs. Grundy will not be angry—ha-ha! You are not
laughing?” He looked anxiously around. “But you know I get so many
queer ideas, lying there in bed. I have grown convinced that nature is
full of mockery—you called me an atheist just now, but you know this
nature... why are you laughing again? You are very cruel!” he added
suddenly, regarding them all with mournful reproach. “I have not
corrupted Colia,” he concluded in a different and very serious tone, as
if remembering something again.
“Nobody here is laughing at you. Calm yourself,” said Lizabetha
Prokofievna, much moved. “You shall see a new doctor tomorrow; the
other was mistaken; but sit down, do not stand like that! You are
delirious—” Oh, what shall we do with him she cried in anguish, as she
made him sit down again in the arm-chair.
A tear glistened on her cheek. At the sight of it Hippolyte seemed
amazed. He lifted his hand timidly and, touched the tear with his
finger, smiling like a child.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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